Legal puzzle I wrote myself

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Now try this one:

A college student is at home on a Friday night trying to finish up a paper due Monday so he doesn't have to worry about it on the weekend. In the meantime he's downloading some album torrents to listen to during it. He finishes the paper and goes to download some porn. The first video he gets has a very young looking girl who could easily be underage. This creeps him out so he deletes it. He then goes off to the refrigerator to grab a beer when his friend calls. He tells him to come down to a nearby house where him and another friend are at a party.

So he heads off, only to find his other friend there is so drunk he's gotten naked and is streaking across the party. At that point his friend who called decides to leave, so they make the other friend get dressed and go to the protagonist's car. He then suggests they head to a strip club, but since one member of the group is under 21 they decide to go to one in a small town 20 miles away that does not serve alcohol. This also gives the really drunk friend a little time to sober up. The guy who drove there insists on driving as he's the only one who hasn't had any alcohol, and then drive off. Along the way the drunk begs him to pull over so he can piss on the side of the road.

They get to the strip club. The girl on stage has smuggled some alcohol in despite it being a non-alcoholic club, and is a bit drunk and stumbling around. At this point the drunk friend starts feeling like he's about to throw up. He rushes to the bathroom but it's very crowded, so he runs outside. At this point the drunk stripper has got off stage and is heading back to the dressing room, which is on the other side of the entrance. So she passes through the entrance hallway naked and notices the guy outside. He waves at her and being drunk herself she stops to wave at him clearly visible through the glass door. He takes a pic with his camera phone before she leaves. He then starts puking. One of the guys from inside the club comes out, finds him as such, so he rushes off to a gas station to get a bottle of water. The drunk friend drinks some but then drops the bottle spilling everywhere. They decide he's too drunk to stay here, so opt to leave.

However at this point the other member of the group is still in the club and decided to get a lapdance in the backroom from one of the strippers. Back there she offers to break the rules and lets him fondle her. She even discreetly lets him suckle on her nipples clearly against the rules. After he gets back to the main place he finds his friends saying they have to go. They all get back in the car and drive back to town.

Upon entering town they stop at a red light when there is a huge shake in the car. The driver gets out and finds out he was rear-ended by the guy behind them. The guy apologizes, points out that it was still a very slow speed and that there is no damage to the car, before getting back in his car and driving off when it turns green. The driver decides there is no damage so he gets back in and drives off to drop off his friends.

While driving back to his place though, he decides that the incident did make his back a little sore, so he decides to swing by the shady massage parlor that is still open this late. He goes inside and pays one of the masseuses for a half hour session. Once in the room and undressed, the masseuse comes in and offers him that she'll do the massage naked for an extra tip. He agrees. She gives him a massage and at the end squirts some lotion into his hand and tells him he's free to masturbate while she watches, which he does. She then tosses him a towel to clean off. He does so, gets dressed and leaves. While doing so he can clearly hear that in the other room they are having sex. He gets back in his car and drives home.

What crimes have been committed?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I should've told Inks how accurate he was.

I will. Let's see if there are any other answers.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

In the meantime he's downloading some album torrents to listen to during it.

Illegal per the DMCA, if the music is copyrighted.

But I never said it was. It's also possible he already owned it, I've downloaded plenty of music I owned on vinyl. That's legal.

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Also illegal if it's copyrighted and he's not downloading from the actual website. Would also be illegal if he's under 18 (I knew some college freshmen that were 17!).

Good point here, though there's no evidence it's copyrighted.

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Illegal if the girl was actually underage.

Actually I think if he was unaware he wouldn't be charged (assuming he was somehow caught which makes it moot.)

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Possibly illegal, if he's underage, depending on the state's law.

Yeah I'll get to this later.

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There's a crime here if anyone at the party was drinking underage (and if the music was loud enough to violate local ordinances)

Same.

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Possibly illegal, depending on the state/locality's public indecency laws.

It's a private party, so no.

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Providing alcohol to a minor/contributing to the delinquency of a minor

Here's what I was referring to before. At least one member is under 21, but we don't know which one. One has alcohol at home, the other has drank some, we don't know if the underage one has had any alcohol.

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This is public indecency or whatever if he actually did it.

True.

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Illegal to have alcohol in the non-alcoholic club. Possibly also public drunkenness, maybe?

The first part is true, but the last part at least isn't enforced in Minnesota considering the bachelor parties I see coming to non-alcoholic clubs.

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Public drunkenness

I don't think alone constitutes it.

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Public indecency, if any of her naughty bits were showing through the glass

Probably yeah, but I know of one club here that would be breaking the law all the time if that was actually enforced...

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Public drunkenness

Yeah I think this might qualify.

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Littering, if they left the bottle.

Caught it, yep.

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Violates whatever laws govern strip clubs; possibly prostitution as well since he presumably payed for the lap dance.

Wouldn't be prostitution in Minnesota, might count as something like "public indecency" though, not that it matters since clubs aren't policed, at least not in Minneapolis.

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Exiting the vehicle to inspect the accident while remaining in the intersection might be a violation of those traffic laws that require you to remove an accident vehicle from the flow of traffic if it's not too damaged.

Good point, I wasn't thinking of this. BTW this is based off an event that actually happened to me, but I'm lax on reporting things like that.

Also, the other driver committed a hit and run because he left before it was really acceptable for him to do so. He'd also have to do an improper lane change to get around the car in front of him.

True.

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Violation of whatever laws govern massage parlors, certainly, plus prostitution probably.

Nope, not necessarily. 100% legal in Minnesota unless prohibited by local laws (which is not the case in Minneapolis).

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Same as above.

No proof any money was actually exchanged though. For all we know the masseuse's boyfriend/husband just opted to give her a surprise visit or something.