Why is Update locked?

[J-Mann]

A clerical mishap, I'm sure.  Fear not and have patience.

^^^

Could you please relock it?  I seriously do not need the temptation.

You did not start this thread. You have no business asking the mods to lock someone else's thread absent of rule violations.

Your inability to resist temptation is the reason Update exists to begin with. Accept that.

The thread is about me.  I have every reason and business asking that there be no threads about me at all.

It just seems everyone is so entertained by the stupid thread that they care nothing about whether I am tempted or not.  In fact, it's like they WANT me to post there so they can laugh and mock at me at their leisure.

Sometime you should look through the archives to the original Update threads and see how genuinely supportive everyone was. They were excited for you when you found love; they supported you when you looked for new work; they were sincere when they cautioned you to be careful, think things through, take certain paths and gave advice.

And you took a group of sincere, supportive individuals who wanted you to succeed and you kicked them. Repeatedly. If you kick a dog every day for ten years, the first day you come home and don't kick it, it's still going to run and hide. Because it expects it. It has been conditioned. And now these "rats," as you refer to them, have been conditioned to respond a certain way to you.

You own that, Jeff Brown. You. And now you complain that you're being mocked. But I think it's fair to say that you've been mocking us for years in a much more sinister way. Consider this:

 - You solicit advice and feedback about events in your life -- you ask for it on this forum
 - Individuals who care offer advice based on their own experiences
 - You reject all offered advice and do the opposite, claiming that you know best
 - You proceed and fail
 - You tell all who point to their previously-disregarded advice that they have no right to comment
 - You brush off the failure, claiming that you knew best all along
 - You solicit advice and feedback about events in your life -- you ask for it on this forum

The fact is, that is mocking, pure and simple. What is mocking -- it's making others feel or appear stupid, right? Isn't that what you're doing, over and over and over, when those who have (or had) your best interests in mind and had significant amounts to contribute to your growth as an individual are dismissed?

The first time this happened, the forum was forgiving. The second, they were annoyed but had your back. Then it happened a third time. And a fourth. And a fifth. Nearly every decision concerning employment, relationships, dieting, exercise ... it all follows that same cycle.

That first time you asked for advice and shared your life on the forum, you got feedback. And then you proceeded to beat the dogs. And you continued beating them for literally years. Jeff, those dogs started out as loyal, happy, tail-wagging companions who wanted to see you be successful. Through constant beatings, you conditioned them to bite. And now you seem baffled as to why they'd snap at you when you enter the room.

Do I understand why the Update isn't enjoyable for you anymore? Sure -- you can't even make a simple statement anymore without being criticized or questioned a dozen times. But don't ever, ever let this truth escape you -- you caused this. By spitting in everyone's faces for literally years, you conditioned the responses you now get. You are responsible for this, and you have to own it.

There are no dumb dogs, Jeff. Only dumb owners. Do with that analogy what you will.

[J-Mann]

I'm fully aware and greatly lament that I haven't exactly been the model citizen around here, either.  As I've said numerous times I am far from perfect.  I guess in some ways, I do deserve the treatment I get in the Update thread.  That's even more reason to stay away from it.  Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do.  I just like to believe that my reasons are just as valid as the next person.  I like to think that I'm just as a productive member of this great society as the next person.  I like to think that I matter.  Looking back through the 21 1/2 seasons of Update, I can see why everybody would think otherwise, and it is what it is.  I just think I still have much to contribute to society.  Whether this forum likes me or not, I know my friends and family will always have my back.  I will continue to post in the political threads without any reservation and I won't even think of the stigma that surrounds me.

Here's what bothers me about this response, Jeff: you recognize that everything I said was true -- you've created this situation by abusing people and taking advantage of their time and goodwill. You understand that genuine contributors turned into rabid detractors due to your behavior.

Yet nowhere in this response do you recognize a need for genuine change. You still won't take personal responsibility for, well, anything. You state that you "believe your reasons are just as valid as the next person's" and "I'm just as a productive member of this great society as the next person."

And you again put the blame and burden on everyone else ... "[l]ooking back through the 21 1/2 seasons of Update, I can see why everybody would think otherwise." But, you go on, they're wrong. They're wrong about you. They don't know anything. You lie and it's justified. You continue a ridiculous cycle of failure which, by this point, could pack a scientific paper, but you're making smart decisions. And the people on this Forum are wrong for disagreeing. And if they continue to disagree, you have enablers that support you.

So somehow, despite literally years' worth of collected evidence to the contrary, going back to another call center was a smart decision. We're all wrong and Jeff is right. And when the cycle repeats again, you'll call us all mean.

You disagree with those who have tried to genuinely help you -- in a subtle and devious way, you take the mountains of advice you've received and you call us all stupid.

You kick the dogs again. This is not normal behavior. It's egocentrism at its finest, and meets most clinical definitions of psychopathy. It's serious stuff, and the refusal to change core behaviors is what keeps you trapped in this cycle.

Trust me, Jeff -- I would love to be wrong about predicting an outcome for you. I would love for you to actually prove me wrong. Because if you did, it would mean that you're listening to someone besides yourself and your gut which has steered you so wrong. But this has all become so predictable ... hence, you've got a lot of dogs that hate your guts.

[J-Mann]

I'm fully aware and greatly lament that I haven't exactly been the model citizen around here, either.  As I've said numerous times I am far from perfect.  I guess in some ways, I do deserve the treatment I get in the Update thread.  That's even more reason to stay away from it.  Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do.  I just like to believe that my reasons are just as valid as the next person.  I like to think that I'm just as a productive member of this great society as the next person.  I like to think that I matter.  Looking back through the 21 1/2 seasons of Update, I can see why everybody would think otherwise, and it is what it is.  I just think I still have much to contribute to society.  Whether this forum likes me or not, I know my friends and family will always have my back.  I will continue to post in the political threads without any reservation and I won't even think of the stigma that surrounds me.

Here's what bothers me about this response, Jeff: you recognize that everything I said was true -- you've created this situation by abusing people and taking advantage of their time and goodwill. You understand that genuine contributors turned into rabid detractors due to your behavior.

Yet nowhere in this response do you recognize a need for genuine change. You still won't take personal responsibility for, well, anything. You state that you "believe your reasons are just as valid as the next person's" and "I'm just as a productive member of this great society as the next person."

And you again put the blame and burden on everyone else ... "[l]ooking back through the 21 1/2 seasons of Update, I can see why everybody would think otherwise." But, you go on, they're wrong. They're wrong about you. They don't know anything. You lie and it's justified. You continue a ridiculous cycle of failure which, by this point, could pack a scientific paper, but you're making smart decisions. And the people on this Forum are wrong for disagreeing. And if they continue to disagree, you have enablers that support you.

So somehow, despite literally years' worth of collected evidence to the contrary, going back to another call center was a smart decision. We're all wrong and Jeff is right. And when the cycle repeats again, you'll call us all mean.

You disagree with those who have tried to genuinely help you -- in a subtle and devious way, you take the mountains of advice you've received and you call us all stupid.

You kick the dogs again. This is not normal behavior. It's egocentrism at its finest, and meets most clinical definitions of psychopathy. It's serious stuff, and the refusal to change core behaviors is what keeps you trapped in this cycle.

Trust me, Jeff -- I would love to be wrong about predicting an outcome for you. I would love for you to actually prove me wrong. Because if you did, it would mean that you're listening to someone besides yourself and your gut which has steered you so wrong. But this has all become so predictable ... hence, you've got a lot of dogs that hate your guts.

I'm not going to keep answering these questions all day long.  I want to put this entire conversation to bed.  Period.

I know there are areas in my life I need to change.  I have never said I was perfect, instead I have said over and over and over again I am far from it, yet the forum keeps mocking my faith when I say that.  I have said it and meant it every time, but the forum has stopped their ears every time or said that wasn't enough.  What am I supposed to do?  Run around in sackcloth and ashes and proclaiming what a horrible person I am?  Are there areas I need to change? absolutely.  Am I a horrible person because of those areas? absolutely not.

I can't keep playing the "what-if" game.  I owe it to myself to put all my eggs in the basket of this new job.  Everybody wants me to dwell on the past and want me to realize that I am a horrible, pathetic, wretched, low-life piece of trash.  I'm not going to do that.  I'm better than that.  What I do in my career is entirely my own choice.  I lament that I've received so much hatred for a simple career change.

Anyway, that is the end of this conversation.  We will NOT turn this thread into another Update. 

You are making quite a few leaps there. I didn't ask you any questions, so there are none to answer. Hopefully, there are things for you to think about.

I don't want you to sit around and flog your self for being a terrible person. That's not it at all. What I would like to see is genuine, positive change. You recognize that you need to do it, yet you never have. And being indignant when we point out how much that change could help you is what causes most of the animosity toward you.

If you know you need to change, do it. That has been the issue with this whole saga: you can even get to the point where you admit you need to change, but make no efforts to do so.