DanielX Radio Ad If you like senselessness, see this.

[DanielX]

"Ladies, Gentlemen, and those classified as 'other', here me out. Gabu's last tb ad made no sense. Therefore, in response, I will, in this radio ad, make no sense,  from when  'starting now' is announced and ending when the 'senselessness ended' part is announced. Starting now:

Rick Santorum is watching a grapefruit roll down the Tabernacle.

Gabu, with his eyes glued to the screen, watched in dismay as chocolate chip cupcakes were washed away by the tide.

Bob Dole takes green, repeat, green, pills.

See spot run over the lazy dog in his Hyundai.

DanielX is throwing potato chips at hungry peanut hordes.

Go to PA 13 and see Bob Taft throw dishes on top of Mary Landrieu's choir, sending hordes of Gray Davis fans running for Tylenol.

Therde is agrowning eivideence thlat Axsprfin affoectrs consceentrnaation int eapes. Hintx, hintx.

A Senator is bored, because there are no wild turkey cards in a deck of eights.

NixonNow watched in horror as his upper spleen was defaced by a winged egret, allowing King to watch television without a lancet over his bookcase.

Senselessness ended.  Remember folks, vote DanielX for Senate, at least if you are in district 5.

Paid for, rather stingily, by DanielX for Senate. "

[DanielX]

OMFG, STFU!

Aren't you happy that you can watch TV now without a lancet over your bookcase?

[DanielX]

I'm suprised nobody got the 'hintx' yet.

[DanielX]

See spot run over the lazy dog in his Hyundai.

OMGosh! DanialX ran over a dog in order to produce one of his commercials! ANIMAL ABUSE!

Um, this was a radio commercial, and my comments had no bearing on reality.

[DanielX]

To DanielX:  What is your stance on the role of fern plants in the sex industry?

In my opinion, if a fern wants to be involved in the sex industry, it has every right to do so, as long as there are no underage ferns involved.

[DanielX]

To Gabu:  What is your stance on water taxes?

Well, water taxes are definitely taxes that are placed on water.  I think we all can agree that water will be taxed if we have water taxes.  It's clear to see that my position is that taxing water is a water tax and therefore is a tax on water, which is a taxing undertaking that perhaps should be watered down.

My rebuttal:

Are water taxes placed on water, over water, or in water? If the taxes are placed in water, then they will quite obviously get wet. A wet tax is a tax on alcohol - a sin tax, in effect. Improper syntax is a bad thing, if you're into UNIX. which, by the way, is kind of sick - I mean, what kind of bizzaro is into eunuchs? Probably a Sultan or something.

And if the tax is on water, then you've got the same problem, and due to gravity, a tax over water is likely to be in the same situation before long. So we must make sure the sin tax is very much improper, or else we will be catering to perverted Arab royals.

Personally, i would just get rid of the water tax. Free the water!!!

[DanielX]

To DanielX:  What is your stance on the role of fern plants in the sex industry?

In my opinion, if a fern wants to be involved in the sex industry, it has every right to do so, as long as there are no underage ferns involved.

What if it's jfern?

He has a right to be used in the sex industry as well. Preferably as a deputy assistant used condom collector.

[DanielX]

To DanielX:  What is your stance on the role of fern plants in the sex industry?

In my opinion, if a fern wants to be involved in the sex industry, it has every right to do so, as long as there are no underage ferns involved.

To DanielX:  What should be the age of consent for a fern?

I think it's a regional rights issue. That said, 16 leaves seems reasonable to me.

[DanielX]

To Gabu:  What is your stance on water taxes?

Well, water taxes are definitely taxes that are placed on water.  I think we all can agree that water will be taxed if we have water taxes.  It's clear to see that my position is that taxing water is a water tax and therefore is a tax on water, which is a taxing undertaking that perhaps should be watered down.

My rebuttal:

Are water taxes placed on water, over water, or in water? If the taxes are placed in water, then they will quite obviously get wet. A wet tax is a tax on alcohol - a sin tax, in effect. Improper syntax is a bad thing, if you're into UNIX. which, by the way, is kind of sick - I mean, what kind of bizzaro is into eunuchs? Probably a Sultan or something.

And if the tax is on water, then you've got the same problem, and due to gravity, a tax over water is likely to be in the same situation before long. So we must make sure the sin tax is very much improper, or else we will be catering to perverted Arab royals.

Personally, i would just get rid of the water tax. Free the water!!!

Clearly, the tax is either on, in, or under the water, and if it is, then it is a water tax that is a tax on water that taxes water and therefore the water is taxed, because of a taxing tax on watery substances that taxes money on, in, or under water, which is not unlike other forms of taxes only those are not on taxes and this is and therefore is like UNIX because UNIX likes to be very taxing.

I am sorry, but a tax on water is clearly a tax on wetness, as water is very clearly wet. A wet tax is a tax on alcohol. Yet a water tax is a wet tax is an alcohol tax. Therefore, it stands to reason that a tax on water is a tax on alcohol. Which can be interpereted to mean that water is alcohol. But try telling a drunk  eunuch that!

To Gabu: Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers?

Not eating too much in the first place.

No, the answer is ignoring all dietary books and eating what you want, and being responsible for it and either accepting your weight gain or burning off the weight yourself.

[DanielX]

To DanielX:  How big do you prefer your fern leaves? Do you use Scotts or Miracle Gro for your potting soil?

I don't grow too many ferns, to be honest, most of my plants are desert succulents. However, the few i do have are kept in shape with fertilizer made from a compost pile. I toss in vegetable scraps, earthworms eat it and produce the 'fertilizer'.

[DanielX]

I am sorry, but a tax on water is clearly a tax on wetness, as water is very clearly wet. A wet tax is a tax on alcohol. Yet a water tax is a wet tax is an alcohol tax. Therefore, it stands to reason that a tax on water is a tax on alcohol. Which can be interpereted to mean that water is alcohol. But try telling a drunk eunuch that!

Water taxes are taxes on water and not on alcohol because if they were taxes on alcohol they would be called alcohol taxes and they're not so they're not.

But water causes wetness. And alcohol taxes are called 'wet taxes'. After all, dry states have water but supposedly no alcohol, while wet states have both alcohol and water.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Okay, try telling several drunk eunuchs that!

[DanielX]

Well, what are your positions on my Water Cooling Off Bill, and would you propose it with Vigor and Decisiveness?

Frankly, I have no interest. Water has a very high specific heat ratio and doesn't heat up that much to begin with, so why bother with a cool off bill?

[DanielX]

See spot run over the lazy dog in his Hyundai.

OMGosh! DanialX ran over a dog in order to produce one of his commercials! ANIMAL ABUSE!

Um, this was a radio commercial, and my comments had no bearing on reality.

You mean the lancet is still on my bookcase?

Actually, it's OVER your bookcase, not ON it.

[DanielX]

See spot run over the lazy dog in his Hyundai.

OMGosh! DanialX ran over a dog in order to produce one of his commercials! ANIMAL ABUSE!

Um, this was a radio commercial, and my comments had no bearing on reality.

Oh?  What other parts of your campaign have no bearing on reality?

What parts of YOUR campaign have any bearing in reality?

[DanielX]

The most important question for both the candidates is this one "What is the answer to life, the universe and everything"

And I want a stright forward answer!

42.

NO, you fool! It's 47!

You forgot to adjust for inflation.

[DanielX]

See spot run over the lazy dog in his Hyundai.

OMGosh! DanialX ran over a dog in order to produce one of his commercials! ANIMAL ABUSE!

Um, this was a radio commercial, and my comments had no bearing on reality.

Oh?  What other parts of your campaign have no bearing on reality?

What parts of YOUR campaign have any bearing in reality?

The parts that do, which is clearly all of them that are in the reality of which you speak.

What reality am i speaking of anyway? What if it's a purely un-real reality, in which case my unrealities are more real than your realities!

[DanielX]

The most important question for both the candidates is this one "What is the answer to life, the universe and everything"

And I want a stright forward answer!

42.

NO, you fool! It's 47!

You forgot to adjust for inflation.

No, it is 53; you forgot to adjust for the acceleration of the inflation of the universe.

But that leaves out the cosmological constant and the effect of 11-dimensional supergravity on cosmic strings.

It's still 47.

[DanielX]

Mr. X what is your response to these sites allogations about the fact that your home state does not exist?

http://home.ptd.net/~omega/Wyoming.html
http://www.expage.com/destroywyoming

You know, there are some yahoos who still think California belongs to Spain. Do you see me taking them seriously? No? Then don't take these nuts seriously, either.

[DanielX]

Mr. X what is your response to these sites allogations about the fact that your home state does not exist?

http://home.ptd.net/~omega/Wyoming.html
http://www.expage.com/destroywyoming

You know, there are some yahoos who still think California belongs to Spain. Do you see me taking them seriously? No? Then don't take these nuts seriously, either.

California DOESN'T belong to Spain?  Who does it belong to then, hotshot??  Huh?!?

The United States.

[DanielX]

Mr. X what is your response to these sites allogations about the fact that your home state does not exist?

http://home.ptd.net/~omega/Wyoming.html
http://www.expage.com/destroywyoming

You know, there are some yahoos who still think California belongs to Spain. Do you see me taking them seriously? No? Then don't take these nuts seriously, either.

California DOESN'T belong to Spain?  Who does it belong to then, hotshot??  Huh?!?

The United States.

*psh* Yeah whatever.  You're living in a dream world, man.  Stop living in a dream world, you dream world living guy.  Stop it.

Next, you'll tell me that Nebraska is a part of France, Virginia is British, and New York's governor is named Peter Stuyvesant!
 
What century are you living in, by the way? The eighteenth?

[DanielX]

Mr. X what is your response to these sites allogations about the fact that your home state does not exist?

http://home.ptd.net/~omega/Wyoming.html
http://www.expage.com/destroywyoming

You know, there are some yahoos who still think California belongs to Spain. Do you see me taking them seriously? No? Then don't take these nuts seriously, either.

California DOESN'T belong to Spain?  Who does it belong to then, hotshot??  Huh?!?

The United States.

*psh* Yeah whatever.  You're living in a dream world, man.  Stop living in a dream world, you dream world living guy.  Stop it.

Next, you'll tell me that Nebraska is a part of France, Virginia is British, and New York's governor is named Peter Stuyvesant!
 
What century are you living in, by the way? The eighteenth?

Actually all the states belong to Canada, except for California which belongs to Spain, Louisiana which belongs to France, and Ohio which belongs to me.

And it's the 22nd century actually.

Umm... in the 22nd Century America has 67 states. Including Alberta and Sascatchewan. And Kamchatka, and Israel, and Guyana.