2012: The "Joke" Candidates

[DanielX]

Here are the candidates:

Vermin Supreme is a perennial candidate and performance artist. He wears a boot for a hat, carries a large toothbrush, and is campaigning on mandatory toothbrushing, zombie apocalypse awareness, time travel research, and offering every American a free pony.

James "Jimmy" McMillan III is a perennial candidate whose opinion on The Rent is well known. He'd also like you to know that his opinion on The Deficit is similar. He also supports the right of a person to marry a shoe, and supports a national rent control policy, low taxes, favors legal gay marriage, believes global warming is a natural occurrence and opposes cuts in education or elderly care.

Yes, Roseanne Barr is running for President of the United States. And Prime Minister of Israel, supposedly. She is fighting the Patriarchy, and is focusing her campaign on economics (any guilty Wall Street Bankers are to give up all income over $100 million, be sent to re-education camps, or executed), personal health, and meditation.

Robert Burck, "The Naked Cowboy", is a street performer in Times Square who wears only a cowboy hat, boots, briefs, and a strategically-placed guitar. He is running as the Tea Party candidate in this election - and may actually represent them better than any of the Republican candidates!

Terry Jones is senior pastor of Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida. He believes Islam is of the Devil, and that Muslims seek to implement Sharia Law in the United States, and is quite willing to burn any Quran he gets his hands on. He also believes in deportation of all illegal immigrants, withdrawal of American troops abroad, and a reduction in bureaucracy and corporate tax rates.