Top 3 Least Favorite Sports Teams

[Хahar 🤔]

Professional
1. Los Angeles Dodgers
2. Los Angeles Clippers
3. Seattle Seahawks

College
1. Virginia Cavaliers
2. Penn State Nittany Lions
3. Duke Blue Devils

Professional listing should be self-explanatory. The Seahawks have fallen below the Clippers because while they still offend me on many levels I don't so much care about the NFL anymore. Obviously there is a large gap between the Dodgers and everyone else.

My hatred for the Virginia Cavaliers is much newer than my hatred for the Dodgers, but it is as strong. I feel very strongly about Virginia as a state and about the University of Virginia as an institution. I rooted strongly for Duke against Virginia this year, and I always will. The fun thing about Virginia is that despite all their pretensions they're just a public school like everyone else, and one with an unwatchable basketball team to boot. Soon things will return to the natural order and Maryland will once again be better than Virginia at everything. It may happen as soon as next year. I can't wait.

Obviously Penn State goes without saying, and today the whole world shudders at the thought of Penn State athletics, as well it should. There's not much to say there. I hope they never win at football again.

Even if preferring Duke to Virginia makes me something of an iconoclast in College Park (although this used to be more true than it is now), I still hate Duke, as do all God-feaing Americans. The [inks]-lickers from New Jersey that make up their student body can proclaim that they're not our rivals all they want, but the fact is that their rivalry with North Carolina (another school that would be high on the list) is just like Stanford and Cal—they might well be different, but nobody outside the area knows or cares—with the added bonus that both schools are significantly worse academically than the ones in California but a thousand times less self-aware. The great thing about Maryland is that we might spread our hatred liberally and indiscriminately (I certainly do), but we're different from all those other schools. The only one that might be like us is West Virginia, and they're hicks and we're urbane.