Office of Ted (Farewell Address)

[Mike Thick]

Just woke up did anything important happen in the past three hours

[GM Team Member and Deputy PPT WB]

Just woke up did anything important happen in the past three hours

you're president now

[Mike Thick]

Just woke up did anything important happen in the past three hours

you're president now

Thanks

[Mike Thick]

Before I hit the sack, thought I would give a rundown of the first full day.

I appointed Scott and FalterinArc, respectively, to take over as VP/DPOC. I’m confident that they have the institutional know-how to keep the wheels greased for the next two weeks. Seems like Congress likes them so far as well! Knock on wood, we can get both confirmed quickly.

I also issued a bunch of COVID-related executive orders, pretty much entirely focusing on the vaccine rollout. If I think of more stuff to do, there will be more. However, these should put us fairly securely on a path to 3M+ doses a day if all goes well. Suggestions are welcome — this is a team effort, and despite being the smartest and funniest and most attractive man in the game, I miss things sometimes.

Introduced a bill to fix some minimum wage law overlaps. Should pass pretty quickly. Just a simple thing I noticed during the Presidential campaign that we can fix.

Tomorrow I’m going to do some legislation related to COVID medical debt, and probably some more EOs.

Won’t make posts like this a regular thing — if I was another player, I probably wouldn’t be reading this — but it’s good to collate everything that happens somewhere.

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

Thank you Mr. President!!

[Mike Thick]

Just updated the WH post directory. Should be easier now to sift through all the executive orders. I think it's kind of useless to run through everything now when I'm doing a farewell speech in a few days, so I'm not going to.

If you have questions, or want me to explain any of the orders, more than happy to do so.

[Mike Thick]

My fellow Atlasians,

This country is in crisis. Sexual relationships within families are on the rise. Not only does this activity risk bringing a developmentally disabled child into the world — it creates an environment ripe for sexual abuse. This cannot go on.

Make no mistake — this is a federal issue. Sex between siblings and cousins, because of its detrimental public health impact, has a clear effect on interstate commerce. We cannot kick the can to the regions. We must act, and act now.

I am declaring a nationwide state of emergency due to the ongoing Incest Crisis. I will introduce measures into Congress to address this problem shortly.

1. I hereby declare a nationwide state of emergency due to the ongoing Incest Crisis.

[Mike Thick]

REPOSTING FROM WH THREAD

I'm honored to induct some very special folks into the Order of the Star of Atlasia. Quite simply, they have made the game better: they've made it more fun, they've made it better to play, or they've made great contributions on the policy side. In most cases, all three!

I've also selected some special IRL individuals to award the Star, for their contributions to this country and its people.

Please keep in mind that, while there are lots of deserving older players, most of them have received stars already. For that reason, and others, I've decided to focus on newbies and/or younger players.

I ask that you all take this opportunity to reflect on what makes this game, and country, great. We all have something to learn from the people on this list, regardless of our political leanings.


EO 51-037

By the power vested in me by the Order of the Star of Atlasia Act of 2016, I hereby order the following.

PLAYERS:

1. The following individuals are awarded the Silver Star of the Order of the Star of Atlasia (OSA(S))

 • Battista Minola, for maintaining terrific activity in the Parliament of Frémont, bringing a fresh pair of eyes to a game that deserves serious scrutiny, and providing the always invaluable perspective of a Northern Italian on Atlasian affairs.

 • FalterinArc, for his contributions to the AFE boards and Congress, and his eagerness to learn and grow over time.

 • Ishan, for taking the game as seriously as it should be taken (not that seriously!) and making Atlasia more entertaining for players of all political stripes.

 • KaiserDave, for his work in office, and for taking on challenges with spirit and ferocity, no matter how daunting.

 • Potus2036, for his remarkable shrewdness, and for getting me into all this mess five years ago.

 • Ninja, for helping get the NPC elections off the ground with dedicated and creative campaigning.

 • S019, for showing a remarkable ability to learn and grow over time, and recognizing that sometimes taking steps forward means falling on your kisser.

 • Hingle McCringleberry, for his service to the people of Colorado.


2. The following individuals are awarded the Gold Star of the Order of the Star of Atlasia (OSA(G))

 • bruhgmger, for his two years (!) of service as Secretary of State, and for doing his job even when his work went without public recognition.

 • HCP, for working ceaselessly to provide for his five-month-old triplets, but still making time to be a great friend.

 • Joseph Cao, for his tireless dedication to keeping the House of Representatives active, and taking on thankless jobs that most other players are loath to touch.

 • Oregon Blue Dog, for learning a lot about the game very quickly, doing a great job as a Congressman and MFP, and managing his time better than I ever did as a senior.

 • SevenEleven, for being a tremendously successful Speaker of the House in the face of difficult IRL circumstances, and -- to paraphrase a certain comedian -- eschewing the part of all of us that's a liar, in favor of the part of him that's a cool guy.


OTHERS:

3. The following individuals are awarded the Silver Star of the Order of the Star of Atlasia (OSA(S))

 • Jamelle Bouie, for his unfailingly terrific insights into Atlasian politics, history, culture, and cereal.

 • David Byrne, Chris Frantz, Tina Weymouth, and Jerry Harrison, known collectively as Talking Heads, for their enduring influence on Atlasian music.

 • Cesar Chavez, for the immense sacrifices he made to help Chicanos everywhere, and for doing Oxnard proud.

 • Kendrick Lamar Duckworth, for his contributions to Atlasian culture, and for shedding light on the struggles of men and women who are often forgotten.

 • Kyle Harvey, known professionally as KYLE, for his musical work and philanthropic activities in the town where he came up.

 • Jeannette Rankin, for standing up for what was right even when she stood alone.

 • Edward Snowden, for doing the right thing at immense personal cost.


4. The following individuals are awarded the Gold Star of the Order of the Star of Atlasia (OSA(G))

 • Frances Perkins, for transforming the Atlasian economy completely, and blazing a trail for countless Atlasian women to follow in the process.

 • Stephen Sondheim, for his contributions to Atlasian culture, and for his remarkable insight into being alive.

 • Thaddeus Stevens, for securing the liberty of generations of Atlasians he would never meet, and moving forward a great struggle for equality that we must carry on today.

 • Elie Wiesel, for emerging from horrific evil bearing a torch of peace, and showing countless people what it means to be an American.

 • Charlie Peterson, for being the best teacher a kid could ask for. We miss you.


There you have it! Congrats to all the inductees. Don't let it go to your head -- if there's one thing I learned from watching Boogie Nights with my mom, it's that titles can be misleading.

[S019]

I thank the Right Honorable President for this prestigious honor.

[Mike Thick]

REPOST FROM WHITE HOUSE THREAD

Farewell Address

Well, here we are! The end of the line.

Obviously, we've all known this was coming for a few weeks. I feel a little like I did when I was driving to my high school graduation: it creeps up on you, and there isn't enough time to process either the good times or the regrets. With five years in the game -- almost to the day -- there are plenty of both.

I have treated some people in this game really poorly. I have screwed up a lot. I was Chairman of the Labor Party, twice, and nearly blew up the Labor Party, twice. I let the First Frémont Constitution wreck my region's system of government because I was on vacation and didn't want to proofread. My most significant accomplishment as President was piledriving the repeal of what I expected to be my most significant accomplishment as a legislator. I will leave office later today without ever having signed a bill. Bummer.

However, I did get some stuff done. As President, I:

  •  Ramped up our vaccine rollout to 11, Spinal Tap style

  •  Took steps to clear all COVID-related medical debt

  •  Created a large pilot program for single-payer healthcare

  •  Established millions of acres of new National Monuments

  •  Appointed the first-ever Deputy President of Congress, FalterinArc

  •  Declassified information about the United States' use of torture

  •  Pushed local governments to pursue inclusionary zoning policies

  •  Implemented stricter regulations on banks

  •  Issued more Executive Orders in two weeks than any other post-reset President did in their entire term

In addition to the past two weeks, other career highlights:

  •  Was (imho) one of the more successful post-reset Vice Presidents

  •  Accomplished some forgettable things as a legislator that I am forgetting

  •  Only registered in one state for my entire time in the game

  •  Most importantly, had a blast. Way more often than not.

So, not too shabby. Checked off pretty much everything I wanted to do going into this. That's good enough.

I've long said that there are no permanent deaths in this game. I have every intention of making my "death" permanent. That is why I pardoned literal Nazis, created something called the "SCATPORN Initiative," provided government funds for injecting babies with coronavirus, and renamed the Hoover Dam after the lead singer of Weezer. If I make the mistake of running for office again, please use all of these things against me.

One piece of advice to leave you all with. It doesn't always seem like it, but it is possible for anyone to have a great time in this game. The most important thing is that you cannot force yourself to choose between your principles and your team. If you're not capable of calling those plays, don't. Putting yourself in that position inevitably ends with stupid stuff.

Keep a light heart, don't get too emotionally invested, don't be a psycho hose beast, and Atlasia can be fun for everyone no matter who comes out on top.

That's all, folks. God bless. Adios.

[SevenEleven]

Team Ted, forever and always. Thank you, Mr. President, for all you have done!

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

It has been an honor, and surprisingly eventful experience, serving as your Vice President. Thank you for nominating me to take on these challenges and thank you for all the good you have done for Atlasia!

[OBD]

Thank you for your service to Atlasia and Labor! It's been an honor to work with you.

[S019]

Thank you for your service and your contributions, Mr. President. You will be sorely missed.

[Left Wing]

Thank you for everything, Mr. President. In just a short two week presidency you provided this country with an extremely active administration that the whole nation should be grateful for. It was an honor to serve with you in congress.

[Joseph Cao]

Meant to post this before noon but oh well.

It's been a pleasure serving with you, Mr. President, not least for one term in the House, half a term in the Senate, and nearly a full term as VP. I must say the game will be at least a little worse off for the loss of someone with the skill to keep legislative cats herded as President of Congress, among others.

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

My President. Thank you sir!