The Seriously? Theatre of Absurdity, Ignorance, and Bad Posts V

[Paul Kemp]

I really don't know if this is in jest or not...

So if Lincoln did come back to life, he still could serve a term since his 2nd term ended before the 2 year limit. I think that with America in a new, changing era, Lincoln would come back to save the racist white cowboy Repub. party from Cruz, Huckabee, and Carson.

In terms of a VP, I feel like Clint Eastwood would be a good VP candidate for Mr. Lincoln. His "empty chair" speech rivaled the Gettysburg Address in terms of quality.

Hillary would obviously win the Democratic nomination against Sanders and Warren. Her VP pick is irrelevant, since she already appeals to all Americans.

I think we have to start in the South. Lincoln isn't exactly "popular" in most Southern states, and Clinton was First Lady of a Southern state, so I feel like Lincoln would have trouble winning any Southern state, even his birth state of Kentucky.

In the North, while Lincoln is loved, Clinton is more popular due to her term as Secretary of State, and her husband Bill. In Lincoln's home state of Illinois, Cook County will make all the difference, securing Clinton victory.

In the West, Lincoln would get some support from "Christians" (Mormons) in Idaho and Utah, as they tend heavy Republican. However,  Non-Mormons, women, Native Americans would keep it close in Idaho. In Wyoming, the "cowboys" would sympathize with Lincoln's reputation as a "wrestler", and perhaps Lincoln would make a campaign visit to "get down and dirty" with Wyoming natives like "Big Ted, "Buff Bill", and "Cowboy Cody".

This map seems correct.

P.S. I feel like Lincoln would have trouble connecting to the black community. While Lincoln played a large role in ending slavery, Hillary's husband Bill played the saxophone. I'm not sure the Emancipation Proclamation can bridge the racial gap.

P.P.S. Colorado is a major swing state. Lincoln MIGHT pull it out, but Hillary will probably get out the vote amongst women and Latinos to clinch victory.

[Paul Kemp]

I generally assume that those with around 100 posts and make terrible threads are not joking and are in fact dullards.

[Paul Kemp]

I generally assume that those with around 100 posts and make terrible threads are not joking and are in fact dullards.

This one is very obvious and most of the dullards around here have 10000+ posts.

Glad you're here for posts like these, politicus.

[Paul Kemp]

Krazen's posts are just so insightful and germane!

He should have drowned a woman at Chappaquiddick.

It's almost as if you seek out his posts...

[Paul Kemp]

I really don't know if this is in jest or not...

So if Lincoln did come back to life, he still could serve a term since his 2nd term ended before the 2 year limit. I think that with America in a new, changing era, Lincoln would come back to save the racist white cowboy Repub. party from Cruz, Huckabee, and Carson.

In terms of a VP, I feel like Clint Eastwood would be a good VP candidate for Mr. Lincoln. His "empty chair" speech rivaled the Gettysburg Address in terms of quality.

Hillary would obviously win the Democratic nomination against Sanders and Warren. Her VP pick is irrelevant, since she already appeals to all Americans.

I think we have to start in the South. Lincoln isn't exactly "popular" in most Southern states, and Clinton was First Lady of a Southern state, so I feel like Lincoln would have trouble winning any Southern state, even his birth state of Kentucky.

In the North, while Lincoln is loved, Clinton is more popular due to her term as Secretary of State, and her husband Bill. In Lincoln's home state of Illinois, Cook County will make all the difference, securing Clinton victory.

In the West, Lincoln would get some support from "Christians" (Mormons) in Idaho and Utah, as they tend heavy Republican. However,  Non-Mormons, women, Native Americans would keep it close in Idaho. In Wyoming, the "cowboys" would sympathize with Lincoln's reputation as a "wrestler", and perhaps Lincoln would make a campaign visit to "get down and dirty" with Wyoming natives like "Big Ted, "Buff Bill", and "Cowboy Cody".

This map seems correct.

P.S. I feel like Lincoln would have trouble connecting to the black community. While Lincoln played a large role in ending slavery, Hillary's husband Bill played the saxophone. I'm not sure the Emancipation Proclamation can bridge the racial gap.

P.P.S. Colorado is a major swing state. Lincoln MIGHT pull it out, but Hillary will probably get out the vote amongst women and Latinos to clinch victory.

How did you not realize this was a joke? Actually, you know, this post is worthy of this thread more than my joke analysis.

Because jokes are usually funny.