Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[King]

Your foreground checks, on the other hand...

[King]

At the end of the 1,000 years, Satan will be loosed to wreak havoc for a season

Why?

Read the book of Revelation.

I know you're not one to take knowledge gained and apply it in a preventative manner, but if it already says in the book that Satan will break free after 1000 years, you'd think they'd take some precautions to make sure it doesn't happen. No?

[King]

If it doesn't tell you why in the Book of Revelation, then the answer to his question "Why?" is not in the Book of Revelation...

[King]

"Trust me, bros, after 1000 years of peace and Jesus reign, thus proving Christianity to be 100% true and forcing any rational human to convert, I am going to release Satan and he's going to still deceive people into believe Christianity is a lie somehow. It's going to be totes epic." -- God

[King]

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[King]

We can't get Bushie to eat broccoli. We aren't going to shake him from his Rapture beliefs.

[King]

#TrustinHim

[King]

not throwing up your hands and giving up.

Why would you expect him to treat the Bible differently than does anything else?

[King]

Jesus christ he even falls for scam websites when it comes to his own theology.

Wait, is that site Bushie visits a scam like landoverbaptist.org? I remember laughing a ton at that website back in high school.

No, but it's clearly only out for money and not serious advice or discussion. Every article has something for sale.

[King]

God has spoken to Bushie and told him to be a premillenial Raptureist and a few hours of playing around with the Bible while watching football has confirmed these views.

[King]

Jmfcst's tale at least makes narrative sense.

Snowguy, free will or not, all people on Earth who "turn to Satan" do so because of doubt whether or not the Christian God exists. If freaking Jesus returns and is there in the flesh to rule for 1000 years, you'd have to be a complete idiot to not convert to hardline Christianity at that point because the ambiguity of man's place in the universe is gone.

[King]

Glad Kalwejt has dropped his high and mighty "I don't read the Update or make fun of Bushie" shtick.

[King]

Mom and I are Papa is still supporting them.

You and your mother need to stop acting like leeching off your father is a source of income.

[King]

I don't think Bushie is genuine on his eating reports anymore. It's total audience pandering levels of comedy.

[King]

Have you napped? Had Braum's?

Yes and Yes and add sloppy jos for supper.

autocad?

No, unfortunately.  The AutoCAD computer is not set up, yet and even when it is later this week, we have company coming through for the first half of November, so I won't be able to use the computer with the AutoCAD until they all leave on November 15.

My sentiments exactly...

Why exactly does the presence of company make it impossible for you to prepare for the job for which you've claimed multiple times that you're going to actually work?

Because the computer will be at my grandmother's and that's where the company will be, too.  They will be using the bedroom that my computer is in.  I don't want to set it up here and then take it down two weeks later and move it.  First off, there's no room at my parents' for the computer.

And you can't set it up in your room because??

He just doesn't have the time.

[King]

Dare I ask what "clean up the meat" is? I'm sure it's a folksy 1950's Oklahomism rather than the Oklahomoerotic euphemism it sounds like, but I'm nervous nonetheless.

Rather than put leftovers in the refrigerator, it is the responsibility of whoever has the most stomach room remaining to gorge himself by eating all the leftover meat after everyone has had their fill.

[King]

Mama doesn't work either, Walt. Like hereditary clockwatching, hereditary Grade 9 headaches, hereditary obesity, etc., Bushie takes after Mama with hereditary leeching off Papa.

[King]

The weight maintenance level for a 280 lb man is ~4000 calories a day so Bushie probably hasn't gained too much weight. Though 3-4 sloppy joes, Braums, a malt, and breakfast is probably about 7000.

[King]

Bushie, if all that food was 2500 calories, literally nobody on earth would be fat.

[King]

His tastebuds are so numb from all the sugar and salt, the food he does eat probably tastes like nothing. Real food tastes like rocks.

[King]

what if everybody pitched in to buy BushOklahoma liposuction??

Waste of money with no lifestyle changes. He'd be back at 280 in one year.

[King]

Also, wasn't October his "no fries and milkshakes challenge" month? I know we stopped talking about it weeks ago and he failed massively with the Oreo Madness, but he probably should have kept it going on his own.

[King]

How did you and your Mama spend your dad's money today?

[King]

Why did you move in with your parents now when you haven't even started your job yet?

[King]

So, there's no email record or serial number at all?