Leaving the forum?! Are U mad?!?!

[angus]

I need to take a dump.  I will not post anything on this forum for next five minutes, at least.  I might take the Leo Tolstoy book that I'm currently reading into the John with me, so it may be that I don't post here for 15 or 20 minutes.  You have all been so good to me.  I want to thank all of you and say that I will miss you all.  Big kiss.  Love you.  Bye.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Yeah, right.

See you in two minutes.

[opebo]

angus I took immodium about five days ago and didn't have a BM till I think it was yesterday.  What a relief!  Guys be careful with the Immodium.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

Good luck with your duke.

[Enderman]

anyways good luck on your dunk in the toilet! or at least I hope so...

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

angus I took immodium about five days ago and didn't have a BM till I think it was yesterday.  What a relief!  Guys be careful with the Immodium.

That's all that French food clogging you up , you see   

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

anyways good luck on your dunk in the toilet! or at least I hope so...

Hopefully not a slam dunk.  Those can be messy.

[Pheurton Skeurto]

The quality of the forum will diminish greatly until you return.

[© tweed]

I might take the Leo Tolstoy book that I'm currently reading into the John with me,

which is it?

[Ban my account ffs!]

angus I took immodium about five days ago and didn't have a BM till I think it was yesterday.  What a relief!  Guys be careful with the Immodium.

That's all that French food clogging you up , you see   

You'd think for a cuisine famous for its myriad and luxuriant sauces, it wouldn't like to hang around inside ya for so damn long.  But then it's French food, so I suppose it's stubborn and bullheaded too.

I'd imagine some good hot and spicy Thai food should sort things out for you.

[opebo]

angus I took immodium about five days ago and didn't have a BM till I think it was yesterday.  What a relief!  Guys be careful with the Immodium.

That's all that French food clogging you up , you see   

You'd think for a cuisine famous for its myriad and luxuriant sauces, it wouldn't like to hang around inside ya for so damn long.  But then it's French food, so I suppose it's stubborn and bullheaded too.

I'd imagine some good hot and spicy Thai food should sort things out for you.

When I dine on French food for a few days I'm normally merely pleasantly regular.. most of the time eating super-spicy Thai food every day I'm.. shall we say prone to emergencies.  But this particular situation was entirely caused by the Immodium.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

angus are you ok?  Are you still reading Tolstoy ?

[© tweed]

angus are you ok?  Are you still reading Tolstoy ?

several long trips to the sh**tter are needed to traverse War & Peace.

[angus]

Anna Karenina, and for the first time.  I read War & Peace a few years back.

About halfway through.  I only read it on the John, while sitting on the sidelines in my son's soccer practice, and while I'm at the mall or department store waiting for my entourage to make selections.  

I can vouch for the efficacy of Immodium.  Wicked stuff.  I generally experience copious, regular, and well-turned evacuate at least twice per day, but I took Immodium once a few years ago for stomach problems and couldn't make for a couple of days.  

[tik 🪀✨]

I only read it on the John, while sitting on the sidelines in my son's soccer practice, and while I'm at the mall or department store waiting for my entourage to make selections.

So while on the toilet, while ignoring the toilet, and while others use the toilet. If it helps, pages in a book are also made of paper. Two birds while passing one stone. Wow, I could do this all day. I should see a shrink.

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The intestinal tyranny of Immodium can never overcome the sly coup of strong black coffee coupled with a follow-up cigarette in my experience. Anyway, it's good to have you and your madness back with us.

My personal hatred is directed towards the turds that hang out on deck but aren't brave enough to face the water. You wipe, taking a miniscule layer of the pebble along for the ride. I check the paper to see if it's free of impurities - it is not. I have another swipe, another layer is taken with it. This will last for a long time until I either give in to the surety of streak marks or grow weary of chafing. Such a situation would cause an extended leave of absence from the Atlas, although being here is surprisingly comparable to the situation anyway come to think of it.

[angus]

Much ado is made in the American popular entertainment culture (30-minute sitcoms, primarily) of the male tendency toward staining the underwear with excrement.  "Skidmarks" is the vernacular nomenclature in the United States.  These are especially prevalent when one regularly wears bleached, white jockey shorts, the style of underwear also known as whitey-tighties, as I do.  

Statesrights created a thread a few years back to discuss admonitions by American folk singer Cheryl Crow that we should, if we are concerned with our carbon footprint, use only one square of tissue.  While I thought that was too radical an idea for my needs, I was at the time regimented to using only six squares.  (Two pulls, three squares per pull.)  Nowadays I generally use far more.  I inspect the tissue after each swipe and continue to swipe until no fecal matter is observed.  

Alas, the point of my thread was more shallow--I was only making fun of all the announcements of absences--but I am pleased with the sundry and thoughtful responses.  

although being here is surprisingly comparable to the situation anyway come to think of it.

well said.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The intestinal tyranny of Immodium can never overcome the sly coup of strong black coffee coupled with a follow-up cigarette in my experience. Anyway, it's good to have you and your madness back with us.

So true.

[muon2]

Anna Karenina, and for the first time.  I read War & Peace a few years back.

About halfway through.  I only read it on the John, while sitting on the sidelines in my son's soccer practice, and while I'm at the mall or department store waiting for my entourage to make selections.  

A fine choice of reading. For me it was the first novel from the 19th century that I enjoyed.