I met a cute guy in West Virginia...

[Ban my account ffs!]

Hey, Commiela, still think gay men are better?

Unless you're gay, don't pretend that you understand gay men or our experiences.  I definitely wonder how this guy is treated in West Virginia.  While Icespear shouldn't be so condescending, the LGBT community is particularly vulnerable in rural areas with a socially conservative culture.

I doubt you would have said something like this if we were talking about race.  And I can't help but get the feeling that you're going out of your way to try and impress Kamala.  

[Ban my account ffs!]

Icespear, your absence will be missed.

Hey, Commiela, still think gay men are better?

Unless you're gay, don't pretend that you understand gay men or our experiences.  I definitely wonder how this guy is treated in West Virginia.  While Icespear shouldn't be so condescending, the LGBT community is particularly vulnerable in rural areas with a socially conservative culture.

I doubt you would have said something like this if we were talking about race.  And I can't help but get the feeling that you're going out of your way to try and impress Kamala.  

Oh my god these two posts...

What is wrong with my post?  Are you implying that I'm too sensitive about the reality of being gay in a hostile environment that is also your home?  Are you upset that I didn't laugh at Jacobin's joke?

Maybe you're trying to impress other posters with your casual "*scoff* pshaw... look at these two losers!" schtick?

I am really confused here!  I don't know whether to think you're just awful or if you're mostly just background noise... or both?

[Ban my account ffs!]

Icespear, your absence will be missed.

Hey, Commiela, still think gay men are better?

Unless you're gay, don't pretend that you understand gay men or our experiences.  I definitely wonder how this guy is treated in West Virginia.  While Icespear shouldn't be so condescending, the LGBT community is particularly vulnerable in rural areas with a socially conservative culture.

I doubt you would have said something like this if we were talking about race.  And I can't help but get the feeling that you're going out of your way to try and impress Kamala.  

Oh my god these two posts...

What is wrong with my post?  Are you implying that I'm too sensitive about the reality of being gay in a hostile environment that is also your home?  Are you upset that I didn't laugh at Jacobin's joke?

Maybe you're trying to impress other posters with your casual "*scoff* pshaw... look at these two losers!" schtick?

I am really confused here!  I don't know whether to think you're just awful or if you're mostly just background noise... or both?

The problem isn't that you didn't get the joke, its that the fact that you didn't understand what it was about didn't keep you from attacking people over it.

I understood perfectly what it was about.  I also understood the intention, which was to impress Kamala at the expense of Icespear and, inappropriately, all gay men.

And now you are, by your own definition, attacking me and making assumptions about my ability to understand context and intention.  Get over yourself.

[Ban my account ffs!]

Icespear, your absence will be missed.

Hey, Commiela, still think gay men are better?

Unless you're gay, don't pretend that you understand gay men or our experiences.  I definitely wonder how this guy is treated in West Virginia.  While Icespear shouldn't be so condescending, the LGBT community is particularly vulnerable in rural areas with a socially conservative culture.

I doubt you would have said something like this if we were talking about race.  And I can't help but get the feeling that you're going out of your way to try and impress Kamala. 

Oh my god these two posts...

What is wrong with my post?  Are you implying that I'm too sensitive about the reality of being gay in a hostile environment that is also your home?  Are you upset that I didn't laugh at Jacobin's joke?

Maybe you're trying to impress other posters with your casual "*scoff* pshaw... look at these two losers!" schtick?

I am really confused here!  I don't know whether to think you're just awful or if you're mostly just background noise... or both?

More or less Jacobin's initial post paired with your accusations of trying to impress Kamala.

I guess I couldn't really discern that from you quoting my entire post and then remarking "oh my god these two posts..."  I had to interpret it based on your past behavior, and in that context, it came off as typically haughty and for effect.

[Ban my account ffs!]

Icespear, your absence will be missed.

Hey, Commiela, still think gay men are better?

Unless you're gay, don't pretend that you understand gay men or our experiences.  I definitely wonder how this guy is treated in West Virginia.  While Icespear shouldn't be so condescending, the LGBT community is particularly vulnerable in rural areas with a socially conservative culture.

I doubt you would have said something like this if we were talking about race.  And I can't help but get the feeling that you're going out of your way to try and impress Kamala. 

Oh my god these two posts...

What is wrong with my post?  Are you implying that I'm too sensitive about the reality of being gay in a hostile environment that is also your home?  Are you upset that I didn't laugh at Jacobin's joke?

Maybe you're trying to impress other posters with your casual "*scoff* pshaw... look at these two losers!" schtick?

I am really confused here!  I don't know whether to think you're just awful or if you're mostly just background noise... or both?

The problem isn't that you didn't get the joke, its that the fact that you didn't understand what it was about didn't keep you from attacking people over it.

I understood perfectly what it was about.  I also understood the intention, which was to impress Kamala at the expense of Icespear and, inappropriately, all gay men.

And now you are, by your own definition, attacking me and making assumptions about my ability to understand context and intention.  Get over yourself.

 I'm not attacking you. I'm pointing out something you do that causes you unnecessary arguments with people, which is to on zero real evidence impute motives to people who say things that make you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason.

I'm sorry that you don't get it, Shua.  You are lucky that you are not particularly sensitive about, well, any topic really.  Such dispassion must truly make things easier.  Unfortunately, sensitivity about identity issues doesn't just come out of irrational emotionality.  It comes from a systemic discrimination coupled with negative and emotionally painful experiences that are not resolved or even resolvable over a period of time, in my case, my entire life.

It becomes especially infuriating when you are then dismissed as overly emotional or melancholy "for whatever reason" because you "impute[d] motives to people" based "on zero real evidence".

JacobinAmerican already admitted the joke was in poor taste after he looked at it in a different, but similar context and apologized.  The guy who made the joke provided all the evidence I needed.

And I just really don't like Devoutcentrist... nor does he like me.  And he has made snide comments towards me in the past, hence why I have not treated him particularly well.

I expect that, in your stubborn dispassion, you will dismiss my reasoning as you have already dismissed my experience simply as 'feeling uncomfortable for whatever reason.'

[Ban my account ffs!]

Icespear, your absence will be missed.

Hey, Commiela, still think gay men are better?

Unless you're gay, don't pretend that you understand gay men or our experiences.  I definitely wonder how this guy is treated in West Virginia.  While Icespear shouldn't be so condescending, the LGBT community is particularly vulnerable in rural areas with a socially conservative culture.

I doubt you would have said something like this if we were talking about race.  And I can't help but get the feeling that you're going out of your way to try and impress Kamala.  

Oh my god these two posts...

What is wrong with my post?  Are you implying that I'm too sensitive about the reality of being gay in a hostile environment that is also your home?  Are you upset that I didn't laugh at Jacobin's joke?

Maybe you're trying to impress other posters with your casual "*scoff* pshaw... look at these two losers!" schtick?

I am really confused here!  I don't know whether to think you're just awful or if you're mostly just background noise... or both?

The problem isn't that you didn't get the joke, its that the fact that you didn't understand what it was about didn't keep you from attacking people over it.

I understood perfectly what it was about.  I also understood the intention, which was to impress Kamala at the expense of Icespear and, inappropriately, all gay men.

I concede that it was in poor taste and offensive, which I honestly didn't intend. The fault there is my own. However, I disagree with the conclusion that it was "to impress Kamala" because it really wasn't. I made a series of half-serious and joking posts yesterday and that was simply one of them. And boy, what a clusterf*** it turned into...

It's alright.  You don't need my forgiveness but you can have it anyway.  I hope you forgive me for misinterpreting your intention.  My offense led me to the worst conclusion.  I'd honestly rather discussions get heated like this and people yell at each other a bit... hopefully with the end result being that we all understand each other better.  That's how you, in my opinion, build respect and community.