I can't make those kinds of decisions for her(present) or them(future). I'd be severely disappointed, and I wouldn't take part in that side of their life(I wouldn't have them bring their partner to my home, wouldn't attend any "wedding" they might have, and wouldn't advertise their orientation to anyone)*, but that's their choice, and I'd still love them and help them in whatever way they need.
With all due respect, that's not "love" at all.
Love doesn't mean approving of everything your child does. If my child acted in pornography I wouldn't watch their films or have them invite their porn friends to my home. I wouldn't go to porn awards shows with them. I don't subscribe to the modern notion of "love", which basically means that you accept and encourage everything your child may wish to do. If I were to accept and encourage something that I felt was wrong and bad for them then I don't think that would be love at all.
I'm assuming you don't have children, so I won't take your comment about me not loving my child too seriously.
Being gay is an integral part of one's being. It is their very identity, and it shapes how they will be treated and who they will seek companionship with all their life. It is not an occupation or a hobby, there's nothing wrong with it no matter what twisted theological position you veil your homophobia in, and rejecting that part of your child is simply a rejection of your child himself.
Not to mention, it's delusional. You "love" the image of your child you have in your head. You would "love" the part of your child that is exactly how you think a "normal" person is and simply try and pretend the rest doesn't exist. Not liking homosexuality is one thing, however, the refusal to even
let their loved one on your property is simply outrageously hateful and something you should honestly be ashamed of. I hope your kid turns out gay, truthfully, in the desperate hope that after getting to know that child for so many years your heart would get you to make the right decisions and at least
somewhat deal with it.
No, to address your comment, I don't have a kid. I'm 19, gay, and nothing special. But after coming out to my ultra-christian grandparents, I got exactly the same reaction that you just spelled out here. They wanted to ignore that part of me, they wanted to pretend it didn't exist, that it was a "mistake" or "not really who I am." They don't want to hear about me being gay. They don't want to acknowledge I'm gay. They don't want to see me with another guy. They don't want me to be even comfortable in my homosexuality.
We have fought so much over such a thing and conflicted over the topic so much that it's led me to sorta-kinda hate my grandparents, and believe their love for me is a fraud. I will never feel comfortable around them, I can never be who I am around them, and they can never see me truly happy as long as they refuse to see me with another boy. I'm saying this to you now because, if your child turns out to be gay, I would not want your kid to grow up and have the feelings toward you that I now have toward my grandparents. If your kid is gay, I hope you make the right decision and not reject them simply for being who they are, and I hope that you won't put that wedge between the two of you that will sadly remain until the end of your lives.
Love your kid and accept their lives, gay or straight. Life is too short, my friend, to have these divisions between
family/
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