Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Also how dreadful for this kid that his thirteenth birthday party is basically a party for a 7 year old.

I see his life of dire and dreary evenings of bible study, horrible food and board games is on track.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

bushie let your poor 98-year-old grandmother eat cereal for dinner if she wants to!

You just aged her 10 years...

No, that would be you.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Well thank god that Bushie is helping his 123-and-a-half-year-old grandmother with the dishes at least. The poor lady.

And to think she does all this with only one leg!

I thought it was a gammy leg and one eye?

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

I'm home from a productive day at work.  Tonight, instead of watching sports, I am going to watch a couple Christmas movies - The Muppet Christmas Carol and Rudolph.

At least when you were watching porn, that was age appropriate. I think it's the only adult thing you've done in all these years of Update.

To be honest, I'd rather approach most everything about Christmas as a child.  All except for the presents.  Approaching Christmas as a child secures the joy and excitement as December 25 approaches.  I love approaching the celebration of the birth of my Savior Jesus Christ as a child.  In fact, Jesus commands us in the Gospels that we cannot enter the kingdom of God except with the heart and mind of a little child.  The reason is children are generally more trusting and less tainted by the world than adults.  That's why I embrace the child-like comparisons of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.

Hmmm, so Jesus wants us with the critical reasoning and blind-adherence of a child? That makes the whole thing make so much more sense.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Well, as we've already been over in both this specific case and in a broader sense, you act like a child at Christmas because you are under-developed mentally and literally a manchild.

Does it seriously not give you pause to consider that a) there is no logical evidence to suggest that a man named Jesus would have been born in December in the climate of the Levant 2000 years ago (based on the tale of the shepherds tending their flocks), and that b) Christians did not celebrate Christmas until those idolaters known as Catholics adopted the celebration from Pagans in order to convince them to convert?

#callmeascroogeanddeflect

In fact Bushie ... read these

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia

I'm assuming your bible 'study' didn't touch on any of this?

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

bushie can you confirm that your very elderly grandmother was busy cooking your supper while you napped?

We didn't have supper together this evening.  She went to church and I was going to go to church, but I needed a new office chair in my room at Grandma's because the one that was in here was wreaking havoc on my back and was not ergonomically friendly in any way, shape, or form.  I voiced this to Mom and this evening Dad and I went to Office Depot to get a new chair and we decided to have supper next door at McAllister's Deli.  I had a four cheese grille sandwich.

I assume your parents forked out for this egonomic chair? Was is the most expensive, therefore, best in the store?

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

What a shock, Bushie is behaving like a spoiled and petulant child.

No, clearly there are some things you do correctly. I assume you can perform basic functions. But when it comes to realities of life as an adult, you constantly fall down. Whether its your parents or your God, you throw the responsibility back onto someone else to fix. You don't try because there's no incentive of survival because someone or something is there to break the fall.

You aren't being attacked, you're just so unfamiliar with constructive criticism, that unlike most people who get to your (our) age, we've heard the word 'no'. We've figured out this doesn't happen by the will or skill of other people... it is supposed to come from you. No amount of planning, hope, prayer or desire will matter a jot, without the discipline to actually DO IT.

The only thing you don't consider a personal attack is us validating your horrible life choices, and those of your family. The fact is, we've given you perpetually sound advice, which you have ignored time and again, entirely to the detriment of yourself and your parent's bank-balance.

Guess what? People stuff up, they make mistakes... but they hopefully learn from them. It's plainly clear to me that you have an idea of yourself and your abilities in your head that will never shift. Mid-western domestic bliss, a wife, two kids and a professional career. And guess what again, the only person who is going to get even remotely close to anything like that is YOU. Your parent's 'game plans'  don't matter, your prayers don't matter... you putting your nose to the grindstone, making REAL sacrifices and changes will get you at least part of the way there...

Yes, you can't lose 100lbs overnight... but if you'd put in place ANY of the 'plans' you've had for the last 3 years, you would have been there or close to it by now.

Stop planning and start DOING. Accept that you might not end up with the life you expect, very few of us do, and get on with having any life at all.

Seriously, cut the crap and get on with it!