Comedy Goldmine VI: Now with no Gporter and Calcium-Fortified for Bone Health

[Sensei]

The last one degenerated into the humiliation of many posters... time for a new one. 

[Sensei]

Much to much......






or

too little...



wait! too much!

Click for context

I didn't find that funny, actually.

With context, I had a chuckle

[Sensei]

texasindy/texasindy (normal)

5% of the vote does not equal "normal"

Down, do you think that being friends with these two means that I'm dumb or something?  Quite the contrary, actually, is true.  I choose to have friends like these because I'm SMART.  Once you get to know them, they are not bad people.  They provide very intellectual conversations actually.

lol. BushOklahoma is the biggest troll lover on the forum, and he doesn't even know it.

[Sensei]

People aren't "stupid".

https://uselectionatlas.org/RESULTS/national.php?year=2004&off=0

lol

[Sensei]

This is not meant to be witty or insulting and I am afraid I won't even be able to make it eloquent. But I will do the best I can to deal with Mr. Turd Ferguson appropriately. To get right down to it, the impact of Mr. Ferguson's raffish deeds is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that I can reword my point as follows. Much of the noise made on Mr. Ferguson's behalf is generated by naive self-promoters who seem to have nothing better to do with their time.

A word to the wise: Mr. Ferguson's true goal is to level filth and slime at everyone opposed to his put-downs. All the statements that his adherents make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to examine the social and cultural conditions that lead Mr. Ferguson to destroy everything beautiful and good. While we do nothing, those who belittle all fine social standards are gloating and smirking. And they will keep on gloating and smirking until we take up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. Whenever Mr. Ferguson is blamed for conspiring to befuddle the public and make sin seem like merely a sophisticated fashion, he blames his sycophants. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Mr. Ferguson deny citizens the ability to draw their own conclusions about the potential for violence that he may be generating.

If everyone does his own, small part, together we can carve solutions that are neither peremptory nor amateurish. Though Mr. Ferguson's stances be madness, yet there is method to them. Step by step, they make it easier for him to waffle on all the issues. I challenge all of the intransigent mattoids out there to consider this: If I recall correctly, Mr. Ferguson keeps trying to deceive us into thinking that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. The purpose of this deception may be to advocate his schemes amid a hue and cry as stroppy as it is possession-obsessed. Or maybe the purpose is to tap into the national resurgence of overt officialism. Oh what a tangled web Mr. Ferguson weaves when first he practices to deceive.

Documents written by Mr. Ferguson's proxies typically include the line, "'The norm' shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel", in large, 30-point type, as if the size of the font gives weight to the words. In reality, all that that fancy formatting really does is underscore the fact that Mr. Ferguson wants all of us to believe that he is the way, the truth, and the light. That's why he sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media. Don't let yourself be persuaded by beer-guzzling bilious-types who secretly want to infringe upon our most important constitutional rights. What do you think of this: Compassion and moral principle are not the main motives for Mr. Ferguson's actions?

As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Ferguson is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. No matter how close he's come to making me turn to a life of crime, he won't be satisfied until he finds a way to pigeonhole people into predetermined categories. He has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but for the nonce, Mr. Ferguson is content to sugarcoat the past and dispense false optimism for the future. But one day, he will promote the sort of behavior that would have made the folks in Sodom and Gomorrah blush. Finally, any mistakes in this letter are strictly my fault. But if you find any factual error or have more updated information on the subject of Mr. Turd Ferguson, Mr. Ferguson-inspired versions of exclusivism, etc., please tell me so I can write an even stronger letter next time.

[Sensei]

Can someone explain to me in Lehman's terms the process of this Lt. Gov. election?

We seem to have an epidemic.

He cannot be defined in such narrow lamest terms.

Don't worry, he's now edited it to this:

He cannot be defined in such narrow lehman's terms.

lolol

[Sensei]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=79275.45

most of this thread

[Sensei]

The last time I found Jib Jab to be funny was when I was 14.

Wow, they must have really went downhill in a year.

ba dum pshhhh

[Sensei]

23 people are killed when a petrochemical plant in Texas explodes.

Please, that happens at least once every year.  No biggie.

lol

[Sensei]

This thead is going to be good:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=79659.0

Damn, 10 pages?

You don't understand, there was a potential vagina involved!!

Even though it's obviously a female impersonator (like you).

I don't think he ever claimed to be female.

[Sensei]

As a child my most hated chore was the weekly vacuuming of the car.  It was not the vacuuming itself I despised, however, but when I was finished my father would take a stick and beat me if he found any dirt - which he inevitably did.  In fact I believe sometimes he would dirty up the car on purpose just to find an excuse to beat me.  And then Mother would be there, crying and telling him to let me alone, but he would not, and he would strike her also and tell her to keep quiet, that only men know how to properly raise their sons, and then he would kick me for good measure, having grieved mother unnecessarily.

[Sensei]

Damn Turks strike again.

At least they weren't French.

That would've been amusing. I would have called them Parisians, Communists, Socialists, snobs etc.

If you're going to insult them, use insults.

[Sensei]

Damn, I got screwed!

I'd have more sympathy if you hadn't taken up the whole thread asking for it.

[Sensei]

Obama don't pray to Allah, you idoit. He prays to God.

[Sensei]

Walt's on fire tonight.

[Sensei]

Posting again because that's how hot she is.

I wouldn't mind slipping something in her drink.

[Sensei]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EHocPk1WAM&eurl=http://www.dwp2016.org/Index3.html

I haven't decided whether this is hilarious or scary

[Sensei]

It is high time we put rape in its proper context.  Not so long ago, rape was bad because it ruined the girl's prospects for marriage.  It was a crime not only against the girl but also the father.

Today's women have been around the block so many times that it no longer matters.  They are 'damaged goods' so to speak (and cannot be damaged anymore).  There are many worse crimes than rape.  How about the psycho woman who killed her daughter in Florida?  Rape is, at worst, a temporary inconvenience, and can be an exciting experience if the man is passionate enough.

Most of those who complain about rape tend to be feminists, who are often ugly and do not have to worry about such an act happening to them (consensual or otherwise).  Indeed, it would be a mark of high character for a charitable fellow to break down their door and give them the time of lives.  When they are in the throes of passion, screaming, "yes!  Yes!  YES!" it will matter not that she did not consent for the man to enter her ... for from thereon out, the consent will be his!

[Sensei]

Rocky wins in Rocky III

[Sensei]

enough of this