Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted].

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

https://www.sprouts.com/specials/-/flyer/store/805

blackberries - 98¢ 5.6 oz pack
grapes - 98¢ a pound
broccoli - $1.28 a pound
boneless skinless chicken thighs - $2.99 a pound
rice - 69¢ a £

if only Bushie had his discount card to afford these extravagant prices instead of having to save with a $10 combo from Braum's

Lol classic Bushie nonsense.  In a PM to me once he mentioned his love for grapes.  But at .98/pound!?  Probably only fit for the liberal, elitist upper crust of Tulsa.  I get this image of Bushie clutching his pearls and storming out in a huff to Braum's for some down home cookin'.

EDIT: Although years of this Braum's talk has me curious.  I could only be disappointed at this point.

Those prices look like a dream come true. I just paid $3 for a 6oz pack of blackberries yesterday. I'd be in heaven if they were only 98 cents.

Wow, Dukey.  I didn't know you are the beneficiary of a South Carolinian plantation!  I guess the moniker "Duke" is quite literal.  Please hire me to work your fields, sweet prince.  I will only require some of your giant golden blackberries for sustenance. 

Must be so nice to not have to pinch pennies buying Mickey Dee's combos...  Oh the life of a rich. 

Lol, I was merely making a statement about how I wish I had prices like that here. I'm far from a rich or a beneficiary of a plantation. I'm the son of a Greek immigrant family. I'm just jealous the price of food seems to be so much cheaper, yet Bushie still refuses to buy groceries.

Oh of course.  I was just poking fun at Bushie's decision to not buy exorbitant $0.98/lb grapes until he can get a discount by acting like your more expensive (but not crazy) blackberries must be the life fruit of the gods.   

He just doesn't know how lucky he has it. It makes me think he's even more foolish than I originally thought when he refuses to do anything on his own. He could eat so cheap if he just wanted to learn how to cook for himself!

He can even buy salmon for $7.99 a pound. It's $13.99 here most of the time!

I can't imagine Bushie even touching seafood. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, you should plan every meal you are going to eat for the next three days. You love making schedules. Schedule your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three days in advance at all times and don't waiver. Not just the time but the actual food.

I'll probably make a menu tomorrow before I go to Walmart.  I will go to Walmart after I get my oil changed and do my laundry, so I hope to go around 1700 or so.

Don't the Wall Marts have oil changing, too?  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I had a safe trip to Shawnee and back.  I left at 0550 this morning and got home around 1040.  I laid down for a little while, but was only able to sleep until 1220.  I am currently watching Buffalo vs. West Virginia on TNT and at halftime, I will go in and start getting ready.  I will follow the same procedure as Tuesday by eating an early supper at 1445, changing into my shirt at 1515, having a prayer time at 1540, watching the news at 1600, and leaving at 1625.  I'm looking forward to another great night at work.   I now have an idea of what to do.  I still need lots of training and I hope to be a sponge again tonight, but I can go in having a general idea of what needs to be done.  I know tonight we will start cleaning things up at 1900, even though we don't close until 2200.  If we start cleaning early, we can get out just after 2200 instead of 2230.

As both an hourly employee and a brand new staff member, why are you already thinking about how to get off of work "early?"

Because it's Bushie.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I'll tell ya.  Hell of a lot of money that didn't need to be spent on college, CAD(D), and the gigantic amount of interest on his student loans if Bushie was going to be handling meat at the [redacted]. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I'll tell ya.  Hell of a lot of money that didn't need to be spent on college, CAD(D), and the gigantic amount of interest on his student loans if Bushie was going to be handling meat at the [redacted]. 

At least he's finally put that all on the backburner and got a real job™.

Yea, he had to, so I suppose it's a moot point.  But I can't help feel that if Bushie would stop counting down the days and hours and scheduling everything to death and going on about how this is this career now, and instead treat this as a nice source of income while he continues to look for work in CAD(D)...

Ayy lmao... whaddya gonna do?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

That's a 2:3 ratio of exclamations to words.  Anticipation is high.

What?  He had a mundane night of working in a grocer's meat section.  Christians always go apesh**t over every little friggin thing.  It's part of the disease.  The good is glorious.  The regular is good.  The bad goes unrecognized.  A shame, truly. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

So, my finalized schedule for Week 2 - the final full week of March and the final full week before the Owasso Grand Opening - looks like this:

Sunday, March 22, 2015 - 10:00 am - 3:00 pm - Training in Tulsa
Monday, March 23, 2015 - 9:00 am - 12:00 pm - Meat Orientation in Owasso
Thursday, March 26, 2015 - 5:00 am - 1:30 pm - Training in Bixby
Saturday, March 28, 2015 - 9:00 am - 1:00 pm - All Staff Meeting in Owasso
Sunday, March 29, 2015 - 5:00 am - 1:30 pm - Training in Bixby

"Getting orientated with the meat"

So many potential titles coming out of this season.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

That's a 2:3 ratio of exclamations to words.  Anticipation is high.

What?  He had a mundane night of working in a grocer's meat section.  Christians always go apesh**t over every little friggin thing.  It's part of the disease.  The good is glorious.  The regular is good.  The bad goes unrecognized.  A shame, truly. 

I've noticed that too.  I have a few Christians on Facebook, and they'll frequently show up on my newsfeed with "just ran with my dog for 45 minutes!! #blessed" or "gotta do laundry!! Praise Him!!" and such.

I think it's just their way of selling it.  Like, LOOK HOW HAPPY I AM ABOUT EVERYTHING! 

Shams and scams need to be sold, Joe.  No one's gonna become an Amway representative without the super-mega-enthusiastic shyster in the nice suit. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

This whole saga has reminded me of a great Hey Arnold episode from the mid 90s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzkq4OON8bs

I had no idea Harold was Jewish

Neither did I.  It's a fairly common trope in television though.  Jews in fiction are represented far out of proportion of the national population (not that this is a bad thing or good thing). And when most Americans think of Jewish characters, I think that the first character to come to mind is Jerry Seinfeld.
Of course I don't want to get too off topic.

This is Update, Turner... the web's premier commentary on contemporary America.  Rant and analyze away!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

What is on your Wal-Mart shopping list?

I haven't written it out, yet.  I need stuff for breakfast like cereal, milk, and maybe some toaster strudels.  I also need stuff for lunch like bread, lunch meat, mustard, peanut butter, jelly.  I also need stuff for supper like bagel bites, picante sauce, veggies, and maybe some fruit.  This is not an all inclusive list, but it's a general idea.

Bagel bites are a snack for children and stoners.  Not a dinner for a grown ass man.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

There has been a little delay in the oil change.  My dipstick came apart and won't go back together.  So, they're having to run to a local dealership and get one.  He said they're only like $22 so it's not bad.  It'll just cost me more time.  I've been here for 2 hours already for a mere oil change...

Classic Bushie conundrum.  Let me guess...  now you'll have no time to possibly search for healthy food at Wal-Mart!  Gersh dernit!

I just deleted a post of mine that was written out of anger.  Yes, I am in a bad mood, but I am trying to calm down before I tackle my laundry.  I've only got four loads, so it shouldn't take me too long.  I have the motivation to do it, I just don't want to do it while I'm in a rotten mood.  I will calm down quickly.  I always do. 

Some of your comments today are getting to me.  I just hate that everything I do this forum calls childish.  I can assure you I act 32 years old most of the time.  If I don't, I act older.  I am not an idiot like the forum thinks I am.  I also hate being compared to another forum member.  That is an unfair comparison to either one of us and doesn't work.  It's comparing apples and oranges.

I am also trying to enjoy my job, but I got attacked last night for being too enthusiastic.  They also attacked Christians for being too happy all the time.  Since when is happiness and joy a bad thing?  It's good to get excited about the mundane.  It's good to be excited, optimistic, and consider ourselves blessed at every turn, because we are.  It is never a good thing, at least in my mind, to be pessimistic.  It's part of the fabric that makes up Christians.  Are things perfect?  Absolutely not, but we have learned to be content in whatever situation we find ourselves in and always look for the good in every situation and every person, even the worst situations.  Our hope and joy is on eternal things, not on temporary, earthly things.  That's why we can be so optimistic and happy and joyous.

You people are utterly frightening. 

I just wish he would eat like a 60 year old. A week of eating prunes could flush out ten or twenty pounds worth of years of undigested Braums bacon cheeseburgers.

Heh that's another thing, Bushie always picks the WORST things to be a senior or child in.

When you think about it, Inks was kind of Bushie's inverse, he was like a senior in ways where it's beneficial and responsible but still young in terms of his comfort with technology and modern day society. Now granted he was still the most insufferable killjoy imaginable but the guy who quit a job where he was literally getting paid to do no actual work because some people smoked pot there isn't much better.

Good point, BRTD.  Bushie is the type to make needless trips to the bank to badger the teller about the amount of money in his accounts (senior-worst) that are being filled by Mom and Dad (child-worst). 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Work night 3 is underway, not that anybody cares...

We do... just be something close to normal about something for once.  Don't tell me for one second you look forward to this job.  It's boring.  You have to be on your feet.  It's manual labor.  This joyful glee about the meat job at the grocer is such a put-on.  Stop looking ahead to "moving up the ladder" and toil... and just admit you are doing this because things haven't worked out and you are making best.  

God damn we need opebo for this supermarket saga: (

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

There has been a little delay in the oil change.  My dipstick came apart and won't go back together.  So, they're having to run to a local dealership and get one.  He said they're only like $22 so it's not bad.  It'll just cost me more time.  I've been here for 2 hours already for a mere oil change...

Classic Bushie conundrum.  Let me guess...  now you'll have no time to possibly search for healthy food at Wal-Mart!  Gersh dernit!

Not exactly.  The laundry only took an hour and 45 minutes, so now I'm about to make a menu and grocery list and go shopping.  After that, I'll be able to relax and unwind for the evening and get ready for Day 3.

Why are you "maybe" buying fruit if you say you find them delicious?  Forget the veggies if you don't like them.  Get grapes, mangos, tangerines, apples, etc.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I am #praying that Bushie also includes some healthy meat on that shopping, instead of just hamburger meat. 🙏🙏🙏

The thing is, and opebo always reminded us this, that Bushie can have the hamburger meat if he wants if he can just cut out the bread and starch (french fried potatoes) or putting it in pasta ala his meat-sauced spaghetti.  Better yet, just buy a nice steak and learn a good recipe for marinade.  It would be nice if he went to lean chicken but he's not gonna do that. 

Bushie, have you given thought to ground turkey?  Take it from me, it's every bit as good as, and a hell of a lot better for you than, ground beef.  If I made you a ground beef taco and a ground turkey taco I guarantee you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

the lack of news regarding the big wal-mart expedition is particularly ominous...

Bagel Bites
Pop-Tarts
Lunchables
Smuckers Uncrustables
Trix
Chocolate Milk
2lbs of ground beef
Kraft singles
Kraft Mac n Cheese
Pediasure
Easy Bake Oven

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Good Sunday Morning!  I woke up at 0640, got a shower, ate breakfast, and watched Dr. Charles Stanley until 0800.  Since I can't go to church this morning, it was imperative that I get a worship service and hear from my God some how.  I will leave here at 0925 for work.  I will get off at 1500, and then have to go see a friend who is in the hospital up here, so it will be after 1600 before I get home.  If I'm not too tired, I would like to go to church tonight.  I will go to bed around 2300 tonight so I can be up by 0630 in the morning to go to the meat department orientation tomorrow from 0900-1200.

Well, your god certainly knows how to rock a leather jacket.  Swaggalicious. 

On a side note, why do so many preachers refer to themselves as "Dr."? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Good Sunday Morning!  I woke up at 0640, got a shower, ate breakfast, and watched Dr. Charles Stanley until 0800.  Since I can't go to church this morning, it was imperative that I get a worship service and hear from my God some how.  I will leave here at 0925 for work.  I will get off at 1500, and then have to go see a friend who is in the hospital up here, so it will be after 1600 before I get home.  If I'm not too tired, I would like to go to church tonight.  I will go to bed around 2300 tonight so I can be up by 0630 in the morning to go to the meat department orientation tomorrow from 0900-1200.

Well, your god certainly knows how to rock a leather jacket.  Swaggalicious. 

On a side note, why do so many preachers refer to themselves as "Dr."? 

First off, Dr. Stanley is not my God.  He's just a preacher.

Second, most preachers go to seminaries and get a Masters of Divinity (or M-Div) and then a Doctorate of Ministry.  They have Dr. in their title in much the same fashion as someone who gets a PhD or other doctorate at a graduate school.

No sh**t. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

So I assume that last night was actually your third cheat meal of the week (since you didn't say anything about making your own dinner), thus exceeding your own generous quota for cheat meals?

And I assume that whatever you bought at the store was more unhealthy stuff like bagel bits, or whatever they're called?

I did go out and have Mexican food last night.  Nothing wrong with that.

I said I'm not going to go over my receipt.  There's no point other than to bash me over the head.  I did not get any Bagel Bites, though.

That bad, eh? 

Literally one page back I said the dipstick conundrum was just an excuse and you said Poppycock!  You do understand that after 22 seasons of Update you are entirely predictable, right? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

So I assume that last night was actually your third cheat meal of the week (since you didn't say anything about making your own dinner), thus exceeding your own generous quota for cheat meals?

And I assume that whatever you bought at the store was more unhealthy stuff like bagel bits, or whatever they're called?

I did go out and have Mexican food last night.  Nothing wrong with that.

I said I'm not going to go over my receipt.  There's no point other than to bash me over the head.  I did not get any Bagel Bites, though.

That bad, eh? 

Literally one page back I said the dipstick conundrum was just an excuse and you said Poppycock!  You do understand that after 22 seasons of Update you are entirely predictable, right? 

I can assure you there was a mixture of vegetables, fruit, meat, and pleasure food.  The most unhealthy thing I bought was donuts for this morning's breakfast.  The healthiest thing I bought were baby carrots and fresh mandarins.

Good on the fruits/veggies.

Pleasure food?  Oh I can only imagine. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

So I assume that last night was actually your third cheat meal of the week (since you didn't say anything about making your own dinner), thus exceeding your own generous quota for cheat meals?

And I assume that whatever you bought at the store was more unhealthy stuff like bagel bits, or whatever they're called?

I did go out and have Mexican food last night.  Nothing wrong with that.

Except that the rules of your "diet" say that you can only have two "cheat meals" a week, but you're apparently having more than that.

There is absolutely no diet. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I like to go Sunday mornings and Sunday evenings.  I like to be there every time the doors are open if I can.  I'm old fashioned like that.  It's how I was brought up.

I'm pretty sure most laymen even in ye olden times didn't spend their entire Sundays in church.

No, but they went to church twice on Sundays and once on Wednesdays.  Occasionally the church is open for various functions throughout the week and I like to go when I can.  Sometimes we do things outside the church building.  Like this coming Tuesday, I am having dinner with a couple of the church guys at Buffalo Wild Wings and then on Friday evening, we are having a Young Adult Fellowship at Dave and Buster's.  (Those are my cheat meals for the week).  Yes, Christians can have fun, too.  In fact, I think we have more fun than non-Christians do, we just don't get sloshed and wasted.  We may have an occasional beer or a glass of wine, but we don't get drunk with it.  If people want to drink, they will generally have one, maybe two, beer(s) or glass(es) of wine followed by water the rest of the way.  I don't drink myself, mainly because I'm always driving.

I just completely chased a rabbit there, but unless it is a wedding of someone I don't know or am not invited to, or a funeral of someone I don't know, then I like to be at church when I can, but I like to be responsible with it.  If I have somewhere to be early in the morning, I usually don't go the night before unless it's early.  For instance, since I have to be at work at 5:00 am this Thursday, I will probably not go to church Wednesday night since we don't get out until 8:00 pm.  If I'm not feeling well on a Sunday and I have to make sure I get to work on Monday, then I will opt to stay home and take care of myself.

No you don't and don't say that because it's offensive and ridiculous. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I've got 3 days of work under my belt and I can honestly say I have made a lot of progress since I started last Tuesday evening.  I am getting more comfortable especially with working the counter.  I am doing a better job of getting and weighing what the customer wants, then wrapping it and putting a price sticker on the package.  My wrapping is not necessarily clean and smooth, but that will come in time.  I still have trouble determining the size of both the Atlantic salmon and the sockeye salmon, but I have even made a lot of progress on that.  I also got experience wrapping the chicken that goes out in the display.  I know how to rotate the chicken (putting the older chicken on top of the newer chicken).  I am also getting better at keeping the display stocked, as well.  There is never any downtime.  Our motto is "If there is time to lean, there is time to clean."  If I am not helping a customer or restocking the display, I am picking up the trash or cleaning off the counter or doing something productive.  I never stand around for more than 45-60 seconds at a time.  I am by no means an expert, but I have skills now that I can take to the new store.  I will only get better in my two days of training next week at the Bixby store.  Again, I am not an expert, but I know how to follow directions when they are given.  I have been a sponge during each of my three work days.  This week we have had sales on the tilapia and raw shrimp and those have been flying off the counter as have the New York Strips as well as all kinds of sausage.

Sigged.  This is art. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Sigged.  This is art.  

Bushie's updates on his job are always great for their optimism with ironic sense of impending doom.

The update is like if Oscar Wilde wrote a parody of an Horatio Alger novel.

It's not the whole thing.  Just that line.  I can't even put my finger on why it's such a great piece of biographical literature but I know it is.  So innocent yet so stupid.  So descriptive but so mundane.  Such optimism over something that deserves no optimism.  I love the "and putting a price sticker on the package" part.  It's like Bushie wanted to put an exclamation point at the end but restrained himself.  Maybe it's that a normal person would say "I'm getting better at my job.  What is my job?  Well, it's.....", but Bushie just combines the two ideas. 

We need some English professors to analyze this whole saga.  Preferably with a psychiatrist on hand.  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I like to go Sunday mornings and Sunday evenings.  I like to be there every time the doors are open if I can.  I'm old fashioned like that.  It's how I was brought up.

I'm pretty sure most laymen even in ye olden times didn't spend their entire Sundays in church.

No, but they went to church twice on Sundays and once on Wednesdays.  Occasionally the church is open for various functions throughout the week and I like to go when I can.  Sometimes we do things outside the church building.  Like this coming Tuesday, I am having dinner with a couple of the church guys at Buffalo Wild Wings and then on Friday evening, we are having a Young Adult Fellowship at Dave and Buster's.  (Those are my cheat meals for the week).  Yes, Christians can have fun, too.  In fact, I think we have more fun than non-Christians do, we just don't get sloshed and wasted.  We may have an occasional beer or a glass of wine, but we don't get drunk with it. If people want to drink, they will generally have one, maybe two, beer(s) or glass(es) of wine followed by water the rest of the way.  I don't drink myself, mainly because I'm always driving.

I just completely chased a rabbit there, but unless it is a wedding of someone I don't know or am not invited to, or a funeral of someone I don't know, then I like to be at church when I can, but I like to be responsible with it.  If I have somewhere to be early in the morning, I usually don't go the night before unless it's early.  For instance, since I have to be at work at 5:00 am this Thursday, I will probably not go to church Wednesday night since we don't get out until 8:00 pm.  If I'm not feeling well on a Sunday and I have to make sure I get to work on Monday, then I will opt to stay home and take care of myself.

Since when were Christianity and temperance the same thing? I've known plenty of religious boozers.

And since when do non-religious people only have fun when drunk?  I haven't been drunk in probably over a year; I usually have just one beer or whatever because I'm typically driving.  Some of the best nights of my life I was sober the entire time.

Non-religious people clearly have more fun since there are fewer inhibitions and other worries about things that don't matter.

It's amazing that Bushie can find no humility to admit even ONE negative of his hyper-Christianity as compared to the lives of others.  

Here Bushie, here's something I'm not as good at as an atheist...

1. I would've been less effective in the Navy during a dire emergency as an atheist than someone who thinks they are going to heaven due to innate psychological factors.  I fear the ultimate end in the face of danger. 

Your turn.  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Stop, HockeyDude. Nobody cares.

No.