Update Season VI - "A New Day Dawning"

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

iT'S A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! THANK YOU BUSHIE!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I wish I could go to Denny's tonight. They give you a free grandslam breakfast on your birthday!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Bushie is a native american! He has a feather coming out of his a$$. I have seen it with my own two eyes!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

How high wlill my cholesterol be in the morning after all of this wine? I know I am not getting it up tonight, so I went home without shame earlier.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I sure hope Bushie finds love again in this season.

Seconded. Id love to see a Bushie edition of the bachelor. The girls could fight over who loves Christ more.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Sounds like a heck of an Easter. I am jealous of everyone who got to celebrate today. I still have over a month to wait for Jesus to rise.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Clearing space? Is your phone chalk full of porn?!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Probably. Torie has always been a peeping tom.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You have to plan to watch 12 hours of baseball? I am going to drink PBR and watch baseball most of today, but that didn't require lots of planning.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It isn't customary for people to eat a lamb on easter like the greeks? I am both shocked and disgusted by all these ham eaters on easter. Jesus was slaughtered like a baby lamb, not some squeaky pig.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I have never understood why people found giving up regular sodas so difficult. Sure, diet tastes different, but it can't be that hard! Just a little self-control.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Why was inks giving bushie a hard time over weather apps?  Just to be a prick?

Less room for porn and other important things. Bushie need not be so concerned about the weather outside of Oklahoma.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Sounds like a snoozer for the next few episodes. No ladies, job drama, or anything. He isn't even looking for either!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'd drink all month long if my April was anything like Bushie's. I can only tolerate relatives coming to town for so long...

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

He didn't walk. It's too cold and rainy, and there is a baseball game on.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

The events that have transpired are no surprise to me. He isn't walking or looking for a job. He is like a kid again, living at home like a high schooler on summer vacation, which is what I said would happened when he left Utah.

Does this surprise anyone? Just let him be fat and happy and tell his tale. I am over trying to chastise him because he doesn't care. He will always be overweight, lazy, passive aggressive, and stubborn. He won't change. I wouldn't be surprised if he never works again and merely lives off whatever government subsidies his family receives. But that is the way some people are, and it is OK.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

This is your life we are talking about. If you don't let that warning concern you, I don't know what will.

I think a lot of us, myself included, want you to get better and we don't wish for you to be sick, but you are, and you could get much worse. You are 31 years old and have problems even my 90 year old grandfather does not have. And you're still making excuses. Family time, birthdays, etc. You're a grown man. You sound like you're 15 years old and have no choice but to stuff your face at all of these events. I get you are home now and your parents do not respect you as an adult, but still.

You've gained 5 pounds in a short period of time, you aren't exercising, working, and you're sleeping in, watching tv all way. I mean, goodness, come on, pal, I don't want you to die so young and that's where you are headed.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Sugar is your biggest enemy. Everytime you eat it, it spikes your insulin, which tells your body to store fat. Don't eat dessert with every meal. If you're going to do that, you may as well not diet. Just eat a meal. That's it. Does your family always have pie after they eat?

I still have little confidence in a diet because I don't think you or your family knows how to eat properly. You were all raised on "good ole country food" which is heavy on the red meat, fried, covered in gravy or full of animal fat. It's GOOD, trust me, I remember my grandmother used to cook crap like that a lot when I was a kid and I would eat it all the time, but I learned when I turned 16 or so that I couldn't do that forever. My grandmother made the same excuses you made - she gained a lot of weight after she turned 75 and fell. She gave up. She even said she "wasn't supposed to exercise" even though we begged her to get her weight under control. She died at 80 of a massive stroke. She lived 4 years really after she let herself go. She did have breast cancer too during that time, but still, her weight was an issue. Don't let that happen to you.

But I said it before and I will say it again - the only way Bushie turns this around is by becoming his own man, shedding the ways of his parents. But he won't do that because he feels it is insulting to them even when he and his parents are slowly dying because they are so unhealthy. At least my grandmother lived 80 full years of life. Bushie already has these problems and he is 31. I can't imagine what else has to happen for him to get it. Perhaps he will be like my grandmother and continue to refuse. We saw how her story ended.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You really need to take up drinking. At least then you'd have a good excuse to sleep for 10 days.

And as expected, your dinner was about as bad as usual. Two pieces of bread. 1 serving of the vegetable soup. And a piece of pie.

Oh, Bushie. You just won't do.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Why are there so many fats in OK? And y'all don't even guzzle the booze like I do... It's insane.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Baby steps, I guess. Weighing 200 pounds is far better than 267, but he will not achieve that goal as long as he is treating himself daily to pie and other unhealthy things. It is a matter of changing his lifestyle, and even with his family's current medical conditions, it doesn't appear like they care. There is always an excuse for that piece of cream pie or choosing not to take that walk.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Dieting does mean you will be hungry sometimes. That goes with the territory. Otherwise you will weigh 267 pounds until you die.

What did you eat recently that was so bad?

Also, it shouldn't offend the host if you aren't stuffing your face at each meal. How many of these things do you go to? I know I pig out sometimes at big functions, but I am not overweight so I can afford to on occasion, and I love eating, but my diet tends to be a healthy one where I genuinely enjoy eating healthy food over crap. But like I said, this is about your health, where you are morbidly obese. Offending the host shouldn't be a concern when we are talking about your life here.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Well, having either one at 31 is not good news..

If that isn't enough reason to actually diet, I don't know what is. I am not saying don't enjoy your birthday, but it is just another excuse you use to avoid getting your diet under control, albeit better than "my grandma cooked and I didn't want to offend her by not eating 4 servings of country fried steak and cream pie."

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

He won't ever start. This much is clear.

All he has to do is start eating normally, like not having pie after every meal, not eating 3 servings of dinner each night. I am not sure how the people are in his parts, but not eating 3 helpings is not offensive here. No one really wants to see you pig out uncontrollably.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

By his own word, he has gained 10+ pounds since he came home in a month. For someone his size, that is insane.