AN ACT
to get rid of society's nuisances
Section 1 (Title)
i. The title of this amendment shall be, the "Ban Bad Things Act."
Section 2 (Preamble)
i. Seeing as how there are many things that we, living in a society, universally accept to be bad, and how the government can ban things and they can magically disappear, this act exists to ban any and all things that the region of Lincoln, especially Chancellor S019, find bad.
Section 3 (Bans)
i. Marijuana usage is banned, and anyone caught smoking the wacky tabacky will see 69 years of incarceration.
ii. Communism is banned, and practice will result in being sent to a gulag in Northern Wisconsin.
iii. Tobacco products are banned, and anyone caught smonking will be forced to sing the national anthem of Canada in French for 48 hours straight without food, water, or sleep.
iv. Cancer is banned, and any cancer cells will be sent straight to federal prison for a life sentence.
v. Dixie is banned, despite not existing for over a century and a half, and any pro-Confederate songs being played will result in the chancellor spitting at you.
vi. Watermelon knives are hereby banned, and anyone caught, using, selling, or doing "other things" with watermelon knives will get sent straight to death row.
Section 4 (Enactment)
i. All of the bans mentioned in this bill shall take effect immediately after passage by the region's council.
