I couldn't be with someone who was born male even if they had surgery to align their body with how they perceived themselves mentally.
Why do you think that is? Would you be with someone who was born with indeterminate genitalia that was made to be female? Is it because you would be unable to have children? I'm not trying to call you out or anything, I'm genuinely curious.
To hazard some guesses myself, on one hand, it feels like most people would say the repulsion is innate because they then identify that person's gender with their born genitalia, which they are not attracted to, because it suddenly betrays their straightness or whatever else. On the other hand, maybe it's just icky to imagine all of the surgery and the what it is you're ..interacting with, so you can't get past it. On another hand (for this thought experiment you have more than the standard amount of normally allocated hands) maybe you think there would be too much work involved in dealing with the baggage of it all, socially and otherwise. Perhaps you have just never considered that it might be possible to deeply love someone despite their junk? Perhaps most people have just never considered it seriously - when would it ever affect them?
Again, I don't mind to call you out specifically - I just always wonder about the specific why's behind this rejection, and if they've really been thought about much by the person answering.
My position may be a bit strange or it may be common, I have no idea but...
Yes, there is a repulsion I would feel. I would always in my mind consider them their birth sex. It isn't about thinking it makes me less heterosexual or something, I am not that insecure, but it is just that I couldn't think of them as a female. That said, I am all for people doing what they feel is necessary to find happiness in this world and I am perfectly fine with treating people as the gender they identify with and referring to them as such, but I will most likely in my mind always think of them as their birth sex.
I don't really know much about the topic though when it comes to things like gender identity, but I am just unable to distinguish sex and gender. And to me surgery is just cosmetic and doesn't change what you are. I don't want to mistreat anyone because of this though. I realize that for many happiness is something very difficult to achieve and if someone does feel they are the opposite sex of their birth sex, then they should indeed be supported to live as how they feel they are.
Your other aspect is right too though, I want kids and this would obviously be an additional hurdle. However, I cannot say the inability to have kids would be the deal breaker because I know if I got married and found out my wife couldn't have kids or that I couldn't have kids that even though I'd be upset about such I'd know there are many kids that need homes and I can adopt.
I have no idea in regards to someone that was born sexually ambiguous. I cannot even imagine what I'd do in that situation.
This is how I am on a lot of issues though. When it comes to my own personal thoughts and way I live my life I am generally very conservative, but when it comes to laws and how others live their lives I am far more liberal. I may not agree with something but it doesn't mean I should infringe on someone else's right to happiness.
