Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Here's a possible "job" that'd work well for Bushie. Medical companies often do studies and pay pretty well for them, you can make over $1000 for something that just requires a 72-96 hour on-site stay and after that about 4-5 once a week or every two week checkups. I see them advertised all the time in alternative publications. The only reason I haven't signed up for one is they don't work well with someone who's employed full time and no doubt mostly rely on unemployed people who have infinite free time, but as this is Bushie....plus with all his medical problems he'd be a goldmine.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Here's an example: http://www.prismresearchinc.com/about-us/studies/#/?study=study1415

It requires basically to be locked in on site for over a week, but after that just 9 1-2 hour visits, and it pays almost $3000!

But of course Bushie wouldn't meet the BMI requirements. Didn't consider that. Of course I'm sure there's plenty of studies requiring obese subjects.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Hearing this stuff makes me happy to live in a Wal-Mart blackhole. I used to make a big deal out of boycotting Wal-Mart, but that's kind of pointless now, since it's not convenient for me to shop there anyway: http://www.walmart.com/store/finder?location=55404

Note not just the lack in Minneapolis, but that area to the west of it too. That area is full of people who 1-don't shop at Wal-Mart and 2-probably consider shopping at Wal-Mart beneath them, even if Republicans. This is especially noticable in the immediate SW suburbs, most notably Edina and St. Louis Park, which have a very rich feel to them, but not in trashy giant McMansion way. Think tons of luxury apartments and expensive jewelry and fashion stores. Rich Democrat land basically, probably the people most likely to find Wal-Mart repulsive.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Hearing this stuff makes me happy to live in a Wal-Mart blackhole. I used to make a big deal out of boycotting Wal-Mart, but that's kind of pointless now, since it's not convenient for me to shop there anyway: http://www.walmart.com/store/finder?location=55404

Note not just the lack in Minneapolis, but that area to the west of it too. That area is full of people who 1-don't shop at Wal-Mart and 2-probably consider shopping at Wal-Mart beneath them, even if Republicans. This is especially noticable in the immediate SW suburbs, most notably Edina and St. Louis Park, which have a very rich feel to them, but not in trashy giant McMansion way. Think tons of luxury apartments and expensive jewelry and fashion stores. Rich Democrat land basically, probably the people most likely to find Wal-Mart repulsive.

Rich Democrats, despite being rich, tend to have many very good qualities. 

And congrats on living no where near a Wal-Mart.  I often am forced to drive by them and notice the packed parking lots out of my peripheral.  It's like watching a puppy burn to death.  Very unpleasant. 

Not even necessarily rich which might be why they end up look more classy than a different type of trashy, think of a DINK couple where each one makes ~$40k. Unquestionably middle class, but lots of money to throw around regardless. The real rich Democrat land is in certain parts of SW Minneapolis which is fully century-old real mansions, not gaudy McMansions.

Yeah the only one I ever see is the one in St. Paul, and that one doesn't get lots of business. The parking lot is never packed. I even heard it almost closed a couple years ago but narrowly survived, the one in St. Anthony (immediate suburb just NE of Minneapolis) didn't though.

What's even more funny about that is that's it's in a location that's commercial but mostly independent small businesses (but not the types that get killed by Wal-Mart, think bookstores and esoteric arts and crafts places), making the Wal-Mart all the more an eyesore and out of place.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

It wouldn't surprise me if politicians started holding campaign rallies in Wal-Mart parking lots.

This would be great because it would inevitably cause a hilarious calamity

Walmart vigorously prohibits anything from ever happening in their parking lots except for A) parking and B) things that are specifically and explicitly approved by the store manager in advance. This strict rule lets them shoo away union stuff at the first hint of trouble and keeps potential picket lines on the far side of those giantass parking lots, except with enough vagueness that they can't claim it's specifically to target unions.

There's a 24/7 "labor relations" hotline that a store is supposed to call when anything union related happens (my computer training told me it should be called like literally any time I ever heard someone say the word "union" on the premises).

If a campaign event was happening but the shift manager forgot it had been scheduled, then saw the campaign placards from a distance and mistook them for picket signs, then it's entirely plausible State Senator whats-his-face would find his campaign event being forcibly broken up by modern-day Pinkertons

What would happen if I showed up and paraded around the store waving red banners and singing "The Internationale" at the top of my lungs?

A couple months ago I saw a band play in Moorhead. During the set they announced that one of their goals as a band is to play all 50 states, or at least the continuous 48 at some point. But unfortunately the show in Fargo fell through, and though they were able to reschedule on the same date here, it's technically not North Dakota. So to get ND checked off the list, they were going to meet in a Wal-Mart parking lot across the river around midnight and play a couple acoustic songs.

Unfortunately because of time constraints I couldn't make it, but I wonder what exactly happened and if anyone at Wal-Mart cared. I should ask BK what would happen if a bunch of people who look like the people who go to the same shows as me ever congregated in a Wal-Mart parking lot after midnight.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Everyone here thinks having Bushie in a management position would be a good idea. Huh.

I'm kind of torn. On the one hand, it's Wal-Mart, so yeah they deserve him. On the other hand I'd feel for the minimum wage working stiffs under him.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Maybe Bushie should be a firefighter. Not only is the job usually just sitting around doing nothing, the type of shifts they work means that firefighters are one of the rare jobs where a majority of their days are off days. Typically on call about 1/3 of the time, so Bushie would have 2/3 of the day to just sit around watching sports on TV and probably spending the majority of his time in the fire station doing the same.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Wonder if Bushie even knows he can set up a BillPay system with his bank and have them basically process and mail checks to pay the bills. The only bill I ever pay with an actual check is my rent, and I do that in person since my landlord's office is just three blocks north. But besides all that...consider that we're talking about someone with a degree in something called e-commerce that won't pay bills online. Bushie defies comprehension sometimes.

The weird thing though is even if Bushie insists on using physical checks there's still no reason to go back to Tulsa just to get the bills. Just mail out checks for the same amount you always pay. If it's varying, then just pay a little more than the average and if you overpay you get a credit on the next bill. The only bill I have that varies though is my electric one, and that one has never been more than $25 a month.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Yeah I kind of suspect that's the real reason for this.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bush might as well apply though. No harm if denied.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

HockeyDude J-Mann fixed his post, please fix your quote.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

OK now that I read this using the mobile page...

Bushie the question isn't is this a reputable company. The question is if you're qualified and if you can do well. You're not and you won't. Getting a 38% on a test where 85% is passing is not exactly something I'd brag about either, especially since if it was multiple choice and had four answers as is standard 25% is basically what someone who picked a completely random answer for everyone would expect. You are literally as qualified for this job and would do just as well at it as you would as a heart surgeon.

The good news is that Bushie is probably as much chance of getting hired at this one as he would if he applied to a hospital as a heart surgeon, so I wouldn't worry about him epic failing and getting fired again. The only thing lost will be the time if he pursues it....oh wait nm he has to pay to take the test. Yep another $188 down the drain.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Passing one interview doesn't prove jacksh!t. They ask you very basic questions to weed out people who have absolutely no clue. Knowing what TCP/IP stands for does not make you qualified. I've gone through multiple interview procedures for this type of job before. The first is always a piece of cake.

As for the whole test...well I'll just say if your work on CADD and studying on that is any precedent...

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

So he's like a comcast man? I thought you couldn't do jobs that require you to stand or walk around? How will you become a field tech man/

Not like that, it'll be more like the guys who come by if you ever have a computer problem at work to fix it. Actually that means the biggest problem isn't really the technical knowledge, it's that it requires decision making and critical thinking skills, of which Bushie is one of the most lacking of people on Earth.

Also it doesn't matter if you get 72% on the test. Someone else applying will get higher. This sounds like a lower level position and the type of people who could ace the whole test probably won't apply, but you won't beat the 19-year old whiz kid who gets >90% and basically does nothing but read up on IT stuff and play FPS online.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

The funny thing is, retail jobs aren't entirely useless in the experience they give you which can be used for something better. Take cell carrier stores for example. Not only do they pay $11-12/hour base pay usually, but they offer massive commission benefits. I know a guy who made over $40k last year working as a product specialist at a Verizon store, about a third of that being commission. Now imagine if Bushie had taken some low level retail job when all this CADD nonsense started and now with his experience managed to land one of those.

Then again not sure Bushie is the guy best explaining and offering recommendations on cell phones or trying to make sales...

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Is Oklahoma one of those states where as long as you can pass the bar exam you don't need to go to law school to become an attorney? If so I wouldn't be surprised if soon Bushie talks about becoming a lawyer and how all he has to do is apply himself, blah blah and then spend $500 on some special training class and $300 to take the actual exam. Oh and probably think watching a Law & Order marathon would help.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Anyone else notice Bushie has basically dropped CADD completely now? After failing to get one job?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

http://en.m.wikibooks.org/wiki/A%2B_Certification

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[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

If you fail, you're out $188 and don't have a job. If you don't try at all, you're out $0 and may have a job somewhere else.

Oh, and if you succeed, you're out $188 and have a job in customer service where you'll undoubtedly get fired from in a month or so and be out of a job again with more worthless education.

It's a Lose^3 cube.

To be fair even if Bushie got fired, he'd still have the certification which he could then use for a non customer service job. Fixing computers or network administrator or something.

But Bushie has as much chance of getting certified as the Democrats do of winning both Oklahoma Senate seats in November.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

FYI I was pretty sure the A+ thing was a false alarm anyway. The company would've likely got at least one applicant who was already certified, or at least someone who had the recommended 500 hours down, and even if they were going to go out on a limb on a hire, it wouldn't be someone with Bushie's history. What's mind boggling is that he thought it was a good idea in the first place. That's the thing that has convinced me as well Bushie needs to see a psychiatrist, and completely ignore all the armchair diagnoses of various Atlas posters.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Guys, Bushie should NOT be a pastor. That's probably a worse career path for him than seeking A+ Certification.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Lots of customer service jobs will advertise a pay that's really just the potential one you could earn after bonuses. It's like how some cell carriers will advertise "Get all this for just $X a month! +fees" and then put all those fees in the really fine print. It's not a scam, nor is it really false advertising or all that dishonest anymore than most advertising really, nor is it even that inaccurate as the bonuses often aren't even that hard to achieve, hell I once had a job where you could make an extra 50 cents an hour just for working entire scheduled shifts during the pay period and not being late and actually doing your job during that time instead of hanging around with unauthorized breaks or in busy states. But as we all know Bushie is basically completely incapable of doing even that.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

The family (apparently regularly) drives 16 hours round trip to stay somewhere for maybe a day and a half? It's clear that Bushie's bizarre eccentricities are genetic.

Meh. I've twice arrived in Chicago around 9AM, and then went home around 9:30-9:45PM the same day. Granted I took a bus each time.