Opinion of the "Polyamorous community"

[Virginiá]

If someone wants to engage in such a relationship, who am I to judge? It's not my cup of tea, I'm far too jealous and stuff for that, but I'm not about to cast judgement on people just because they have a different kind of legal, consensual relationship. If it makes them happy, then it's whatevs.

[Virginiá]

Not hurting anybody = OK with me is the worst thing that ever happened in this country.

Come on

First off, since when are humans inherently monogamous? We certainly didn't evolve that way and we certainly aren't entirely that way now. Monogamy is a social construct and it seems unfair to look down at people who want to deviate from this social norm when all of us deviate to some degree from other social/cultural positions. How is this any different?

Second, you're projecting your views on relationships onto other people, which coincidentally is what people did with gay people for basically ever - said marriage between two gay people was wrong! degenerate! Yet, here some of us are doing the same to other people who are different. Tying into my first point, how is me wanting to marry a woman any different than someone wanting to have 2 or more gf/bfs? Both are deviations from mainstream social practices that in most respects have no effect on anyone else.

As for your original point, that is so broad that there are certainly situations where such an attitude can be harmful, but in this case, it is not. It only becomes an issue when you insist on concerning yourself with their personal relationships.

In this case, such a relationship isn't anyone's business nor is it hurting anyone else.

[Virginiá]

If we're offering shoddy anecdata to support our positions, I know the child of a polygamist.

The kids suffered financially because Dad stretched his salary too thin on extra wives, and the wives fought with each other over their husband like high school girls, and used the kids as pawns in that fight, but hey all parties consented to the arrangement, so all is well.

And I can list a number of anecdotes about people I knew to varying degrees in middle/high school who suffered from disintegrating monogamous relationships where the separating parents used the kid(s) as pawns.

So, if all consensual sexual relations are unimpeachable, then all consensual economic relations...?

What, like say, drug deals? I'd have to say yes, but it gets trickier with hard drugs, which very often cause harm and general crime outside of those 2 people. You have to gauge how much these 'consensus economic relations' are going to affect those outside the transactions. People engaged in polyamorous relationships are not very likely to cause many more issues than a monogamous relationship.

[Virginiá]

More like, people agreeing to work for eighty hours a week, in unsafe working conditions, for five dollars an hour. By what right does the government pass moral judgement on such an arrangement?

Because no doubt many people would find themselves with no other option but to enter into such poor work conditions/compensation. Sort of like how selling your organs is illegal - If it were allowed, poor people would be taken advantage of, just like they are in countries where this behavior is rampant.

Then you have to think, if economic matters are deregulated like that, exactly how long before companies begin colluding and lowering wages across the board, giving no one any better options? The "free market" is not going to solve this any more than it did in the Gilded Age. No one is forced into a multi-member relationship, but that kind of economic freedom would inevitably ruin the livelihoods of many, many people. We've been through this before - it didn't work out.

[Virginiá]

What's wrong with using anecdotes to make a point?

In the context you put it, it's different. The way the previous poster(s) were using it was trying to imply that because they witnessed 1 bad polyamorous relationship/family, that they must be worse overall, which is not logical at all. For all he knows, every single other polyamorous relationship is better, but he just happened to see the one bad one (not to say this is true obv, just making a point). You can say using anecdotes is similar to polling - Would you trust a poll with a sample size of only 1 or 2 people?

[Virginiá]

And don't people sometimes submit themselves to relationships for reasons other than romantic attraction? I mean, let's be honest here: we don't think that Brigham Young could have procured 55 wives if he were just a blacksmith, do we?

They do, but not often to the detriment of their long-term well-being. Yes, you can pluck some examples from history or even recent history, but virtually every situation has outliers that are troublesome. What you're saying is basically the wholesale deregulation of the economy and to be honest I don't feel the need to say why that would be a terrible idea. It's not really even a proper equivalency here. You can't compare the crushing poverty the 99% would face in such conditions to a few people who want to engage in a polyamorous relationship...

Amusingly, I think that the opponents of polyamory would say the same thing about that peculiar institution.

I'm not really advocating for it, I'm just saying people should have the option and shouldn't be judged so harshly for it. Obviously I am not a fan of Warren Jeff-type situations where there is rampant abuse or what have you. It wouldn't be fair to compare all polyamorous relationships to that or other prolific cases of abuse.

[Virginiá]

I just wish that people would refrain from invoking moral principles when they aren't willing to follow them to their logical conclusion.

I don't understand. Are you saying I should not invoke any principles because I refuse to apply them entirely to other things, such as economic matters? If so, you're missing what I have been saying. I don't see these types of relationships as really hurting anyone more than a monogamous relationship, but the economic views you are saying I should follow based on the "not hurting anyone" clearly would hurt many people, even against their will (imo), thus going against my overall principle on this matter.

If that's not what you meant / was not directed at me, then disregard this post.