Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

[Indy Texas]

In fact, if anything, I act like a senior citizen.

My 80 year old grandmother is a senior citizen. She sleeps less than you do, walks more than you do and is more comfortable using a computer than you are. She can also use a stove.

[Indy Texas]

where does a money order cost $5?

Depending on where you get it in Oklahoma it costs anywhere between $1.50 and $5.00.  Cashier's checks are $8.00 at the bank.

I think my credit union will issue up to two a year for free; I don't know how much they charge above and beyond that, but I've also never paid for anything by cashier's check in my life. Never used a money order either and I don't understand why anyone would unless they or the recipient lacked a bank account.

[Indy Texas]

I want to know what makes a chain establishment "proven."

The Browns are probably naive enough to follow the logic of, "Well if the food wasn't good, how would they still be in business?"

[Indy Texas]

I believe tipped employees are guaranteed to be paid at least minimum wage, at least that is the case in Texas. If for some reason, nobody tipped you at all, your employer would have to pay you $7.25 an hour.

I hate tipping and wish we'd join the rest of the world in doing away with the institution. The bulk of your dining experience is being derived from the food itself, which the waiter has no control over - the back of house deals with that. A good waiter will make sure the drinks stay filled and otherwise make him/herself scarce. Pay them an hourly wage and be done with it.

[Indy Texas]

enough f'ing tip talk.

bushie how is your autocadd project coming along for pappa bushie?

Yeah, get back to being bullies.  Hell, even IndyTx made a post without being a giant douche.  <checks to see if the moon is blue>  And the moon isn't even blue!

Right, straw0man, because Jeff is a picture of perfection who has no issues with employment, weight, taking advantage of his parents, and lacking general common sense. How dare we criticize him as his trainwreck of a life is relayed to us play by play.

Get back to chickenhawking and being an Israel apologist in the International board.

[Indy Texas]

We need to decide what the playing tokens will be. Some suggestions...

A triple cheeseburger

A lozenge-shaped blood pressure pill

A telephone headset

JJ/Blondie the Dog

A Bible

A train

[Indy Texas]

Cracker Barrel doesn't make the caloric count available (but they do call the general info page "Wholesome Fixins"...my god the Clan Bushie can't resist such fake corporate pandering, can they?)

I went to Cracker Barrel once recently and was utterly horrified (and confused as to how the massive slab of chicken I was served only cost like $7).

Also, the median waistline of the patrons was well north of 40 inches.

[Indy Texas]

Jeff, in the future, if you are without anything to do at work, double-check your work and then ask your supervisor if there's anything else you can help with. If not, what better way to actually practice AutoCAD than at work where you're actually getting paid to? Or make sure you're up to speed on whatever other applications they use (you mentioned Visio earlier, for example). NO MORE THUMB-TWIDDLING.

[Indy Texas]

Jeff, there is always something that needs to be done.

Hell, on one slow afternoon I reorganized the room where we store all our office supplies because it was so insanely disorganized and messy and no one had time to do it up to that point. Not directly related to my usual job but it was helpful and beneficial to me and everyone else.

[Indy Texas]

Oh to be a fly on the wall in the HR office of any business that has ever employed Jeff...

[Indy Texas]

I don't even understand why Bushie is having incidents already?! He's barely done any work?! How can they already be souring on him?

Does anyone take seriously my theories about the mustache and possibly having some very irritating mannerisms?

Wasn't there an issue at his last job with listening to the radio at his desk or something?

[Indy Texas]

We have plenty of work to do, like I said, it just wasn't worth starting a brand new project so late on a Friday.  It's better to start a new project at the beginning of the week whenever time permits.  He said it wasn't fair to me to make me twiddle my thumbs for 75 minutes when I could be enjoying an extra hour of my weekend them to pay me for 75 more minutes if they could avoid it.

FTFY

[Indy Texas]

Just don't f#$%ing go to the family dinners - or at least don't go to every single one as you seem to. I live in the same city as nearly all of my extended family and I basically never see them save for Christmas and maybe a couple of other times a year. So I don't know how your parents and grandmother keep pulling these family dinners out of thin air or how they haven't run out of houseguests at this point. You have like five family dinners in a weekend - how is that even logistically possible?!

Pretty sure you can walk in the dark. Humans have been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years (yes, at least hundreds of thousands, sorry). I just got home and drove past several walkers/joggers/runners on my way who seemed to be doing just fine. Barring that, gym memberships are like $20 a month - of course then I'd just be giving you another way to create more bills that your parents can pay while you claim on Facebook that you paid them yourself.

[Indy Texas]

Apologize to yourself.  In the time it took to type out all of these excuses you could have done something. To follow the prison analogy from before, there have been plenty of people trapped in solitary confinement who managed to stay in shape.  You need to figure it out.  It is cold outside, get a jacket. Too dark, find a step- stack some old cadd textbooks if you have to. If you don't feel like it just say it but dont delude yourself into thinking you are trying.

Don't waste your time, Patrick. Jeff's entire life is a litany of reasons why he can't, why it's other people's fault or forces beyond his control, and why it really doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do because God's going to hand him a corner office a Barbara Billingsley-esque Mrs. Jeff Brown and a house with a white picket fence because he deserves it.

[Indy Texas]

Any plans to make some time in the evening for AutoCAD at least once this week?

I plan on doing it Saturday.

How will you find time between all the college football games and family dinners and naps?

[Indy Texas]

Guys, there is no reason to worry.  I have nothing to be worried about.  My boss would not give me false expectations.  If he says there is nothing to worry about, then there is nothing to worry about.  Period.

Can someone please find and post all of the similar statements he said about the last job?

Better yet, can someone compile an index of Bushie quotes categorized by appropriate topic? Ex. "Denies problems at work", "Denies problems with weight", "Warns us not to mock his faith", "JJ/Blondie"...

[Indy Texas]

I'm too lazy

At least you're self aware.

[Indy Texas]

Also, WTF is a "migraine pill?" Is he talking about Advil? Tylenol? Is someone hooking him up with Vicodin?

[Indy Texas]

It does seem that it costs Mama and Papa Bushie quite a lot of money to keep Bushie in jobs between all the hotels, gas money, schools, and phony job scams. It'd be a helluva lot cheaper for them to just accept that Bushie is completely unemployable and give him back the Train Room.

[Indy Texas]

I don't know why y'all bother at this point.

I'm just waiting to see if he gets a phone call from his employer or goes there and gets escorted out of the building. When the excuses and equivocations start, I'll make some popcorn.

[Indy Texas]

What sort of unhealthy slop did you put in your belly tonight?

Beef and noodle casserole
Corn
Green Beans
Crescent Rolls
Pumpkin Pie
Vanilla Ice Cream
Unsweetened Iced Tea

I guess it's a start. Though the pumpkin pie and ice cream more than canceled out your decision not to sweeten the tea.

[Indy Texas]

Bushie can't do anything productive this weekend because, alas, he has to go to a 13 year old's birthday party because blah blah blah went to high school with somebody's cousin blah blah blah knee high to a grasshopper blah blah blah. #ClassicBushie #YOLO #RIPCADD

[Indy Texas]

Oh, sorry, I meant to add mission trip.  They are going to manage the front desk of a guest house for Bible translators.  They are with the Wycliffe organization.

So basically they are spending two years in a developing country not to do actual missions work but to do a mundane front office job that could easily be done by local Cameroonians with basic English skills?

[Indy Texas]

Bushie, please don't love on a 13-year-old boy.

It's too late. I fear the poor 13-year-old boy is being loved by the whole clan as we speak.

i feel bad for this boy.  he is being dragged off to some backwater (even worse than oklahoma) to spread the white man's religion to a people who arent interested.

I feel bad for him because in all likelihood this birthday party isn't going to involve normal 13 year old pursuits like paintball or laser tag but will rather be a bunch of middle-aged people shoveling fried salty foods down their gullets and then playing Skip-Bo.

[Indy Texas]

Are there still written languages in which the Bible is unavailable? I would have thought they'd all be pretty much covered by now? Wikipedia informs me that the population there is about 2/3 Christian and 1/3 Muslim. Are they going to try to convert the Muslims or try to make the Christians into Southern Baptists?

RIP Missionaries.