1st Presidential Debate Megathread

[Rand]

Will Dementia Joe just drool and babble the whole night?

Will Droolin’ Joe even know where he is or WHO he is?

Will Babblin’ Joe fall asleep on the stage?

Will Sleepy Joe try to sniff Donald Trump?

Will Sniffing Joe suffer a series of strokes?

Can Drugged-Up Joe beat a stable genius?

And if he does win, will China Joe agree to a drug test?



Answers tonight.

[Rand]

Tonight, 60 million people will see how old and frail Biden looks . That will make a difference. People don’t watch debate for substance, to get actual insight. They don’t listen to what the candidates say. They go by impression, and the way a candidate looks is often critical. It shouldn’t be this way, but it is.

Because tonight is the first time ever in history that Joe Biden has ever been on tv.

America already knows who Joe Biden is. That’s uh, why he’s winning.

[Rand]

Joe Biden doesn’t budge.

Why?

Because he’s a ↓ ↓ ↓

[Rand]

Welcome to the idiocy festival

Blue avatars sweating like dogs.

[Rand]

Will the rafters be searched for puppet strings prior to the debate? And will the shadows be searched for people—the same people Biden sent on a plane to burn down Boise?

[Rand]

Let’s all be brutally honest - we are watching this first presidential debate for all the car crashes.

Donald Trump is a United States made Hummer. Joe Biden is a Soviet automobile. I lived in Moscow right at the downfall of the Soviet Union - brace yourselves.

www.autotrader.com/car-video/hummer-h2-most-embarrassing-car-you-can-buy-262363%3famp

Hummers might make you look tougher than you feel or help you forget the average or below average size of certain body parts, but they’re trash. Nobody drives them.