To answer;
I'm no longer Catholic because it's not true. That's the simplest and most honest answer.
But to go a bit deeper, personal truth is important and I don't doubt personal commitment to belief. But it's not real. It's aesthetic. All Christianity is; whether it's high baroque, spartan or sleek. It's a 'feels' movement. It's a feast for the senses. The 'baubles' are very real. And they excite and dazzle because we put them there to excite and dazzle us.
Different 'baubles', different concepts and philosophies excited us before Christianity.
And that's all very good, and harmless and mostly doesn't bother me.
Except when it's not harmless. Because it can f-ck you or other people up. And then, with either a sharp tongue as dirt or a warm hug as salve; it will blame you for the wounds it caused.
To me, there is also something inherently selfish about salvational religion. The things people will do, or say or act (or not) in order to secure their own post mortal destiny. These things can be good, genuinely good and impactful things. They can also be objectively bad and wicked things, wrapped up in some paternalistic 'this is good' gaslighting and blackmail.
It's real hurt, for assumed personal gain made under 'spiritual' pretexts.
And those who aren't religious or of a salvational faith can't escape the 'game' that gets played at an interpersonal level or worse, a legal/political level by people who don't want to mess up their chance (and it is their chance) at salvation. We just have to navigate around it as collateral. Which I think is something that a lot of believers forget; what is the basis of my interaction with you? What's the transaction?
As a gay man (and I know many people of faith who are queer, irl and on here), I'm always going to be hyper vigilant because quite frankly, the record of Christianity and the Church has been deliberately and vindictively inhumane. Pleasure has been derived from dehumanising queer folk. Because it's up against what is real and what is true and yes a connection a communion even; with the body, the self and others that is 'spiritual' in form and act.
Leaving faith behind was a healing act. It made me a better person. It made me a more patient, and kinder person. Because what I carried with me and what I put out into the world was now my own.
If I wrote the TL,DR: this probably the best effort post to elaborate my own reasoning...besides sexual orientation, that's a divergence.
Though like wnwnwn, I'm still too hardwired towards Mormonism to completely call atheist on the matter. I still very much believe that milieu would be the closest to true of them all, if any, but that it still doesn't pass muster.
It truly became a very-zero sum affair, and that's pretty much what happens to most ExMos. It's either it's all true, or it's not, and if it's not, the rest are probably shams too. Some might call this reductive, but that's just the psychological toll taken.
