Politics of autistic Americans?

[ProgressiveModerate]

Feeling unprivileged because of social exclusion

I think people who aren't autistic often don't realize how much harm social exclusion can cause because they've never experienced the same degree of social exclusion nor have they experienced many of the problems autistics experience that being included would help with.

I think some do - I sort of had a revelation about this in high school (in part thanks to COVID) and it definitely made me feel really bad for a bit but also gave me things to work on. I think just being aware of it is half the battle because then you know to try and improve or look for workarounds.

As messed up as it may seem, I try to sometimes use the autism stereotypes to my advantage to compensate for lacking social skills (stereotypes like autistic people can be really smart especially on certain topics, autistic people are "pure" and don't lie, ect).

[darklordoftech]

autistic people are "pure" and don't lie

I suspect that that belief is what leads to them being excluded and policed. People think autistic people are too "pure" to handle alcohol, marijuana, being unsupervised, traveling alone, employment, dating, etc. I'm talking about people who give a vibe of being "pure" as much as I am people who say, "I am autistic."

[world.execute(me)]

autistic people are "pure" and don't lie

I suspect that that belief is what leads to them being excluded and policed. People think autistic people are too "pure" to handle alcohol, marijuana, being unsupervised, traveling alone, employment, dating, etc. I'm talking about people who give a vibe of being "pure" as much as I am people who say, "I am autistic."

I wonder if its common for autistic people to seem younger than we actually are to other people. I've had people be surprised at how old I was since I was 17 at least.

[ProgressiveModerate]

autistic people are "pure" and don't lie

I suspect that that belief is what leads to them being excluded and policed. People think autistic people are too "pure" to handle alcohol, marijuana, being unsupervised, traveling alone, employment, dating, etc. I'm talking about people who give a vibe of being "pure" as much as I am people who say, "I am autistic."

I wonder if its common for autistic people to seem younger than we actually are to other people. I've had people be surprised at how old I was since I was 17 at least.

Yep I’ve always felt a few years behind my peers in terms of various social benchmarks/rights of passage - first time trying alcohol, first time being in a relationship, becoming sexually active , ect. It kind of sucks because it’s easy to be infantilized, but again this perceived sense of purity can be used to my advantage because people tend to overestimate just how “pure” I actually am. I can bite back when people don’t see it coming.

On the flip side, I think we actually underestimate the purity of a lot neurotypicals around this age - neurotypicals, especially young men, seem far more willing to try and puff themselves up to seem like the cool guy and blatantly lie about things like their sex life or drug experience to seem cooler. In high school I felt really bad because a lot of my neurotypical male acquaintances were talking about all these wild sexual endeavors while I was still this pure virgin, and it took me a while to realize half of them were outright lying about having sex at all and most of the other half were having crappy sex - very few high schoolers have fulfilling romantic lives. In actuality me and my neurotypical peers were at a pretty simillar level in this way, but the difference in presentation made it seem like I was very behind.

Physically I don’t look significantly younger than my age but I think that’s in large part because I work out. I do have a bit of a boyish face. Otherwise compared to my peers I have little sense of fashion/style which would make me look younger.

You can be the judge here’s me irl as of a few weeks ago (face reveal!)

[darklordoftech]

On the flip side, I think we actually underestimate the purity of a lot neurotypicals around this age - neurotypicals, especially young men, seem far more willing to try and puff themselves up to seem like the cool guy and blatantly lie about things like their sex life or drug experience to seem cooler. In high school I felt really bad because a lot of my neurotypical male acquaintances were talking about all these wild sexual endeavors while I was still this pure virgin, and it took me a while to realize half of them were outright lying about having sex at all and most of the other half were having crappy sex - very few high schoolers have fulfilling romantic lives. In actuality me and my neurotypical peers were at a pretty simillar level in this way, but the difference in presentation made it seem like I was very behind.

I was aware of this when I was in high school. However, autistics also get subject to restrictions on things that aren't viewed as "impure" at all when done by non-autistics.

Also, what about after high school?

[ProgressiveModerate]

On the flip side, I think we actually underestimate the purity of a lot neurotypicals around this age - neurotypicals, especially young men, seem far more willing to try and puff themselves up to seem like the cool guy and blatantly lie about things like their sex life or drug experience to seem cooler. In high school I felt really bad because a lot of my neurotypical male acquaintances were talking about all these wild sexual endeavors while I was still this pure virgin, and it took me a while to realize half of them were outright lying about having sex at all and most of the other half were having crappy sex - very few high schoolers have fulfilling romantic lives. In actuality me and my neurotypical peers were at a pretty simillar level in this way, but the difference in presentation made it seem like I was very behind.

I was aware of this when I was in high school. However, autistics also get subject to restrictions on things that aren't viewed as "impure" at all when done by non-autistics.

Also, what about after high school?

For me, I haven't had too much of the "restrictions" problem I think in large part because I don't present as "that autistic" in normal day to day life. My parents are perhaps a bit more involved/cautious than some other parents but in a way that's annoying but not particularly unusual these days.

These days I still tend to take people at their word in the moment but am much quicker at realizing when someone might be trying to puff themselves up or are outright lying.

Another thing that's really helped me is the realization that almost no one has it all. The popular dude with a hot boyfriend may have a bad relationship with his parents, the super smart kid who seems to breeze through classes with minimal work may be lonely, the wealthy kid who goes on fun vacations may have a chronic illness, ect. I personally have quite a few qualities I wouldn't be suprised if others look up to (good academically, physically healthy, good relationship with family,   relative financial stability, I like to think reasonably attractive, ect). Good chance some of the people I admire/envy for one reason might admire/envy me for a different one - I think mutual admiration is a lot more common than people think.

Anyways sorry for completely derailing this thread lmao but I always enjoy the more wholesome conversations of Atlas like these.